Page 50 of 40 and (No Longer) Fighting It
Claire refused to take her eyes off the ceiling. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“There certainly is,” Scarlett said. “As much as the two of you have a past, you also obviously have a present. If you haven’t had the look of a well-loved woman the last few days, I’ll eat my shoe.”
“Sounds tasty,” Claire said.
Lily gave her arm a light tap. “No it doesn’t. Now spill.”
“There’s nothing to spill, not anymore.” Claire felt tears gather at the corners of her eyes. “We had a few good days, that’s all.”
“What happened?” Lily asked.
Claire waved her hand around vaguely. “Today. All this…crap.”
“Even if I hadn’t seen him at the press conference,” Lily said, “I know he would support you in this. He did, all day. So why—”
“It’s not him.” Claire shook her head, and the room spun. She flattened her hands on the rug, trying to hold herself still. “Wow.”
Erin nudged her. “Being sloshed isn’t going to get you out of telling us what happened.”
Claire kept herself steady with her hold on the rug. “It wasn’t Lincoln. It’s me. I mean, I’ve just gotten myself free of my own family’s judgment; do I really think I can handle judgment from the entire world?” She dared to turn her head—very slowly—toward Lily. “You heard them at the press conference. Comparing me to Kelly.”
“Do you believe Lincoln compares you to her?” Scarlett asked.
“Not that way.” She shrugged. “He says we’re a lot alike.”
“From what JD has told me, I’d agree. Both strong women. That’s something to admire.”
“That’s definitely not how Lincoln’s fan groups see it.”
“And is that how you want to live your life?” Erin asked. “Allowing people you don’t know to decide what’s going to make you happy?”
Claire groaned. “Don’t try to make me logical now, Erin.”
Erin shrugged. “Somebody’s got to. And once you get over your mad, you’ll see it that way too.”
Scarlett agreed. “It’s hard to accept in the moment, but with time it becomes easier to distance yourself from the judgment.”
“Have you had to do that?” Claire asked.
“That’s sort of what being an author is. You’ve got supportive fans, and you’ve got the people who tag your profile when they rip your book to shreds on Facebook or Twitter. Just so they can be sure you see their criticism and feel like you’re a terrible human being.” She chuckled. “I decided a long time ago they were the ones who were terrible human beings. I had enough to make me unhappy; I didn’t need to let them in to add to it.”
Claire tried to sit up, wanting to hug her friend. Turned out lifting her head off the rug was a terrible mistake. She groaned, quickly lying back down.
“That bad, huh?” Erin sipped her second cocktail. “Lightweight.”
“Apparently.” She chuckled, the sound strained. She waved a hand at Lily, not daring to turn her head this time. “We might want to get me off this rug.”
Her friend leaned over, cutting off Claire’s view of the ceiling. “I think you’ll be okay if you just lay there for a little bit. Give it time. Close your eyes. Things will look better in a little while.”
Claire followed Lily’s advice. As the world drifted away and she settled into a doze, she had the feeling Lily wasn’t just talking about being drunk. She was talking about a lot more, and Claire would have to think about that. Later.
Twenty-Two
The morning after the groundbreaking, Linc stood in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hand, staring blindly out the window into the gray of early dawn. The Guatemalan coffee that had tasted like ambrosia a week ago now tasted like piss. The chaos of the kitchen renovation scratched at his psyche like sandpaper. Even the brand-new, massive window above what would be the new kitchen sink in the next couple of days didn’t receive any appreciation. He’d realized just yesterday that he was in love, again, truly in love for the second time in his life, and the woman he wanted had chosen to walk away. How was he supposed to feel? What was he supposed to think?
He couldn’t do either. All he could do was stand here, numb, staring into the woods and holding a cup of coffee that he would probably end up pouring down the drain.
After he wasn’t sure how long, JD came in. His friend looked like he’d gotten a better night’s sleep than Linc had. But then, he’d had Lily beside him.
