Page 47 of 40 and (No Longer) Fighting It
“It means, I don’t know the answer to that question.” A long pause stretched between them, tearing at his nerves. “And I think I need to take some time to figure it out.”
His breath cut off. He closed his eyes, trying desperately to hold himself in place, to not simply stride across the room and scoop her up in his arms and throw her on the bed, keeping her there until he could convince her that she didn’t need to walk away from him. Even temporarily.
Would this be temporary?
When he opened his eyes, Claire was in front of him, staring up at him with a desperate pleading. “Can you support me in that?” she asked quietly.
The sadness in her expression made him feel like this was a goodbye.
He wasn’t ready for goodbye. But he couldn’t deny her either. “I’ll support you however you want me to.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me,” he told her roughly. “I don’t want to do this. Do you think I want to see you walking out that door? Hell no. It’s taking everything I have not to force you to stay.” He cleared his throat. “But I’ll do whatever you need because you’ve asked me to.”
She nodded. When she turned for the door, her steps slow and almost reluctant, he couldn’t help adding, “I’m not leaving, Claire. I’ll be here the minute you decide you’re ready.”
She met his eyes for the briefest moment, her gaze stark, then left.
It was a promise he intended to keep. Now he just had to wait for her decision.
Twenty-One
“Iplan to get drunk off my ass.”
Lily and Scarlett and Erin all stared at Claire as if she were already drunk. Not yet, but she meant what she’d told them. “Where are the margaritas? And did you add extra alcohol?” she asked Lily. It was her friend’s house, after all; she was supplying the oblivion.
“Claire, are you sure—”
She held up a hand to cut Erin off. “I appreciate the concern, but were we both at the same ceremony this afternoon?”
Erin’s eyes darkened with sympathy. “We were.”
Claire waved her hands in the air. “There you go.” They didn’t need to know she was trying to wipe more than just the ceremony from her mind.
Lily sighed, rising from the couch. “I’ll get the drinks, but you have to eat too.”
Claire rolled her eyes. “Yes, Mommy.”
Scarlett and Erin giggled, and a chorus of “Yes, Mommy,” followed Lily down the hall to her kitchen.
Claire kicked her shoes off and settled on the floor. If she was gonna get drunk, she didn’t want to fall off the couch later. At least she assumed that was a possibility. She’d never actually been drunk, just buzzed, but tonight she really wanted to wipe the entire day from her memory if at all possible.
Scarlett was already sprawled back on the couch, ballet flats kicked off, hot pink toenails glistening in the lamplight. Erin sat in the armchair next to her, jean-clad legs crossed in her seat. They both looked down at Claire with a mixture of amusement and understanding.
“Clay invited us to come to the pub, you know,” Erin said. “We could go out, get your mind off things that way.”
“Get some wings,” Scarlett put in.
“No, Clayton invited you to the pub, and you didn’t want to take him up on it. He always wants you to drop by, but…” Claire let that trail off.
Erin shrugged. “I just don’t feel drawn to him.”
“You don’t feel drawn to anyone,” Scarlett warned her, “but at some point you’re gonna have to put that vagina to use again before it grows cobwebs.”
Erin chuckled, not taking offense. “It probably already has.”
“I can testify that cobwebs don’t hinder performance when the opportunity arises,” Lily pronounced as she carried a tray through the door and set it on the coffee table. “What they say about riding a bike is pretty much true.”
