Page 47 of 40 and (Tired of) Faking It
Lily narrowed her eyes at him. “I think it would be best if you come to the planning commission meeting and hear the proposal in full. At that point it would be easier to make decisions for what would be best for our town. There are ways that we can mitigate the issues that will likely ari—”
“Of course we’ll be there,” the man said, cutting her off. He nodded to JD. “Lane.”
Taking his sputtering wife’s hand, he led her away from their table. JD watched the couple cross the restaurant, his lips so tight they ached.
“Insufferable prick.”
A surprised laugh left Lily. He hoped with it came a release of tension, but she continued to be subdued as they finished their dessert and left the restaurant. The ride back to Black Wolf’s Bluff was quiet, and he could tell she had a lot on her mind.
As they entered the outskirts of town, she finally spoke. “You know, my term is up next year.”
“No, I didn’t know that.” He waited, and when she didn’t continue, he did. “How do you feel about that?”
“In all honesty, I’m not sure.”
A quick glance showed her gaze glued out the window. “Lily.” He took her hand where it rested on the console between them, hoping to draw her attention. “I don’t think this town could have a better mayor than you. You love them and love looking out for them; nothing could be more plain.”
“I’m not so sure about that either.” Lily’s laugh was bitter. “I don’t know. Sometimes the scrutiny…” She shrugged.
His chest squeezed, hating that she was working so hard and some of the town couldn’t see it. “There are always going to be naysayers,” he pointed out.
“And I went into public service knowing that. Lately, though…”
She didn’t finish her sentence, and the rest of the ride was silent. A fragile kind of silence that he hesitated to break. Not that he knew what to say. He wanted to fix things, make her feel better, but some things just didn’t work that way, and this moment felt like one of those. He didn’t like it—he was a fixer by nature—but the way Lily sat, slightly turned away from him, her fists balled in her lap, warned him not to try.
When they arrived at her house, Lily allowed him to lead her up to the porch but kept her head down. As she unlocked the door, she hesitated. “I really have a lot to prepare for at work tomorrow, with the meeting tomorrow night,” she said, not looking at him. “I think I probably should turn in early.”
He turned her toward him with a light touch to her hip. Keeping hold of her, he cupped her smooth cheek and forced her chin up until her eyes met his in the dim light of the porch. “Are you sure? Lily, if you need to talk—”
“No.” Her hand settled on his, pressed it harder into her skin. And then she came up on her toes to give him a quick kiss. “I just need some time.” Turning, she opened the door. “I’ll see you at the meeting tomorrow, okay?”
Before he could answer, she was through the door. He stayed until he heard the lock click, then reluctantly walked back to his car. Driving home, he had a bad feeling, the feeling that he shouldn’t have left her. He should’ve stayed, insisted they talk. The distance between them…it bothered him even though it shouldn’t. He should want some distance, but right now all he wanted was to turn his car around and go bang on her door till she let him in, to hold her if nothing else.
For now he’d give her some space, but tomorrow night they were going to talk, one way or another.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lily woke from a restless night with a feeling of dread. A cold shower got rid of the fuzz in her brain, but it couldn’t get rid of the constantly circling thoughts about the planning commission meeting. Something niggled at her, something she couldn’t put a name to, and though she tried the entire time she prepared for work, whatever that was refused to make itself known.
Walking to the coffee shop, she mulled it over. She’d been through thorny political issues her entire career—it wasn’t like her years as mayor were her first in public service. Granted, this was probably the biggest impact a decision would have on the community she was currently serving. She understood that. She also understood that she’d done her research, worked through the options in her mind. She wasn’t coming into this issue blind, and she wouldn’t ignore the negative possibilities; she simply wanted to negate them until her town received the best end of the stick she could give them. And she’d worked closely enough with JD, discussed the options enough that she had a good idea of what he was willing to compromise on and what he wasn’t.
She refused to let her relationship with him, whatever that included, influence her work. She just wished the people she worked for, her people, believed in her integrity enough to know that as well.
Oh, she knew there were many citizens of Black Wolf’s Bluff who supported her wholeheartedly. And as mayor it was naive to believe everyone would see an issue “her” way. But she hadn’t realized until this week just how much she’d insulated herself against those who thought the worst of her.
And she blamed Mason for that.
She’d known the breakup with Mason was coming long before she’d actually spoken the words. She’d been running a political campaign and fighting against his constant demeaning attitude at the same time; she simply hadn’t had the ability to deal with the fallout from booting him until after the election. Being with him in the first place had been a mistake, but breaking up with him… The Prescotts were influential in local politics, and somewhere in the back of her mind, she could finally admit to herself, she hadn’t wanted to face what that could mean if she’d broken up with Mason earlier than she actually had.
The end of their relationship had proven that her fears were well-founded. From that moment on, Mason had done his best to undermine her in the eyes of the community, helped along by his father’s position and refusal to treat her as anything more than an errand girl for the “important” work he and his cronies handled behind the scenes. And while not everyone subscribed to their theories, enough had that Lily had needed to grow a thick skin to survive and ultimately thrive in her position, doing the work she’d dreamed of doing from the time she was a young woman.
Even so, here they were. Once again rumors were flying, and once again she was bracing herself for the fallout.
That was the source of her dread.
She stopped dead on the corner across the street from Wildwoods Brew, staring unseeing at the beautiful brick facade the coffee shop shared with Gimme Sugar, and tried to breathe as the realization moved through her. Here, in the community she loved, she was bracing herself for the opinions of people she really didn’t give a damn about. Letting them steal her desire to do the best job possible.
Letting them steal her faith in herself.
