Page 47 of Desire Me
He rubbed his thumb along the cotton-covered curve of her thigh. “Now…what?”
“Now, even if my family does have something to do with this”—she shrugged like it didn’t bother her one way or the other, which he knew was a lie—“I feel like I’m not quite so alone.”
Relief washed over him. “You’re not alone.” The last word lowered to a growl as he leaned in and took her mouth. He loved kissing her, loved savoring her on his tongue, loved her breath in his lungs. Not being allowed to kiss her the past couple of weeks had been torture, but after this morning he planned to indulge as often as she would let him. As often as he could get her alone.
Rae broke away, breathing heavily. “God, Saint.”
He grinned. “Which am I, a god or a saint?”
Her thigh pressed lightly to his swiftly hardening cock. “I think that precludes anything holy, doesn’t it?”
“I am ready, willing, and able to show you very differently.”
A grin flickered across her face, followed quickly by something dark.
“What is it?”
She hesitated. Glanced down. Then her shoulders firmed and she met his eyes. “I know this isn’t a major step for us. This morning was nothing new, nothing I assume we haven’t done before.” When he went to speak, she laid a finger across his lips. “No, let me finish.” A hard swallow bobbed down her throat. “I know all of that, somewhere in the part of me that can think about all this logically. Or the part that finds itself easily swayed by hormones.” A half grin tilted her mouth. “But right now, right here, this feels like a huge ledge I’m about to walk off of. A ledge Iwantto walk off of, don’t get me wrong, but…yeah…” She closed her eyes, maybe trying to hide the vulnerability he’d already seen. “A huge ledge.”
He took a moment to think, to not do the total guy thing and assure her his dick was worth any risk. This was Rae in his arms, the woman he was well on his way to falling in love with—and he was, to his surprise, more than happy with the knowledge. He had to think before he spoke.
And just like that, he knew what to say.
“Rae, you know you’re safe with me, no matter what, right?”
Rae did a double take, sucked in a breath. “What did you say?”
He cupped her cheek. “You’re safe with me.”
She shook her head. “You—” Another shake, but he got the feeling she wasn’t denying him. More like she was thinking hard. Then, “You’ve—you’ve said that to me before, haven’t you?”
Had he? He searched the memories he’d stored of Rae, looking for answers. “I probably have.” He meant it with everything inside him, after all. It made sense that he’d said something similar before. “Maybe in the hospital?”
“No, no.” She was rubbing her temple like she had another headache. Except she mainly had those when…
Saint flushed hot, then cold as the memory washed over him, the same one he was now certain was resurfacing in Rae’s mind. He was going to be sick; he knew it. Because Rae wasn’t remembering something from the hospital. No, she was remembering something far before that. Something from the night they’d first met.
“We were in a car, weren’t we?” she was saying faintly. “Why were we in a car?”
He wanted to run, to take back his words, anything but face what he knew was coming—Rae realizing he’d lied to her about their relationship. But the look on her face…he couldn’t take it. Sliding his fingers beneath hers, he took over the massage. “Just let it come, Rae.”
Everything inside him screamed for her not to remember, but nothing could stop this train wreck now except Rae’s brain.
“We were kissing.”
He closed his eyes. No stopping, then. He took her hands.
“Saint.”
Time to face the music. He opened his eyes. Stared into Rae’s wide, shell-shocked ones. “It’s okay, cariño.”
“You said that to me before,” she said again. “‘You’re safe with me, Rae.’ Just before…” She swallowed hard. “Just before we slept together.”
“I did.” His gut clenched. Every moment leading up to this, every minute that he’d been given to get to know this woman—her courage, her sass, her tenacity, her fire—flashed through his mind in quick succession. All the things that drew him, that had melded his heart to her in a way he hadn’t ever thought possible. All the things he wanted to keep forever.
And he was about to lose all of it just when he’d discovered he needed it as much as he needed his next breath.
∞
