Page 23 of Teach Me
And that was why Conlan didn’t want a commitment: he’d watched his father be hurt by his mother, watched his friend die, all for love. And he didn’t want to follow in their footsteps.
She could’ve told him love wasn’t always like that; on some level he probably knew it too. She might not have experienced it for herself, but she’d seen it clearly with Cris and Steven. Heck, she and Conlan weren’t even talking about love between them—they’d only known each other a week. So why spell out his past for her? She had no doubt he’d hopped into any number of beds between Lee’s death and now. Why not jump into hers and get it over with, then walk away?
Because he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to. And so was she. Only she was brave enough to take the chance. Conlan was determined to walk away afterward no matter what he felt.
“You know, I didn’t take you for a coward.”
Conlan jerked away from the window, his body going rigid. She might’ve laughed at the surprise on his face if her heart wasn’t threatening to beat out of her chest.
“What—”
“If you’re that worried about it, walk away, Conlan. Really. The only reason you wouldn’t walk away is because you can’t, because this thing between us scares the shit out of you. Well, guess what?” She paced closer. “It scares me too. I sure as hell don’t want to fall for a guy who just wants a week fucking me.”
His eyebrows rose at the word. Jess’s did too. She’d never actually said that aloud, but it felt good. Inhibitions were for somebody who had much less to lose than she did.
“I can walk out that door right now, schedule my lessons with someone else, and make sure I never see you again. If that’s what you want, let me know. Otherwise, man up. Life’s too short to spend it worrying about this stuff.”
As they came out of her mouth, she realized those last words were for her too. She didn’t know how much time she had left; no one did. She’d almost died once. She sure as hell didn’t want to waste any more time if she could help it. That was the bestfuck youshe could give Brit, and the best gift she could give herself.
Conlan leaned back against the window once more. A grin pulled at one side of his full lips. “So, is that a yes?”
Crossing her arms over her chest, she tried to actually think out her answer this time. She raised her eyes to the view of faint stars above Conlan’s head. “That really depends on you.” When she dropped her gaze, it was to meet his. “I can’t be someone I’m not. I don’t know if I have casual in me; that’s just the way it is. I can only promise I won’t lay claim to anything you don’t want to give me.” Even if it killed her. “How you react to that, and what you choose to give, is on you, not me.”
Conlan straightened, squaring his shoulders. He stalked toward her, and Jess fought the urge to back up. Fought the need to speak. It was past time for words.
Conlan thought so too. He didn’t open his mouth until it met hers, and then it was only for the roughest groan to escape. He took her, with his tongue, his breath, his hands holding her still. Hunger flared fast and bright, sweeping through her like a lit match striking lighter fluid.
Their tongues tangled. Hands groped. Jess whimpered—too many clothes, too much space between them, too big a chance that he’d stop before the hunger inside her was sated. When his head lifted, she clutched hard at his shirt, trying to bring him back.
Conlan smiled. “All right.”
She might’ve laughed at his acquiescence if it weren’t for the tremble in his voice, his hands. “All right,” she said back.
One more hard kiss and Conlan took her hand. “Good.” He tugged her toward the door, digging in his jeans pocket to pull out his keys. “I hope you don’t have anywhere you need to be, because if I don’t get you naked right now, I’m gonna die.”
Chapter Ten
Conlan got out of the car. He circled to open her door, linking their fingers together and tugging her out. “Ready?” he asked.
She tried to decide as they walked toward his apartment.Yes? No? How in the hell would I know?She already knew she wouldn’t be able to do this and walk away with her heart intact, but even heartbroken, it would be worth it. She wasn’t going to deny herself whatever small part of him that Conlan was willing to share.
She smiled back without speaking.
Conlan unlocked the door and led her through before locking it behind them and tossing his keys on a nearby table. Half a second later, he had her backed against the door.
His kiss—aggressive, commanding,hungry—seared her lips. He delved deep, his tongue hard against hers, tempting her to suck on it. When she followed the instinct, the light pull drew a harsh growl from his throat. Shivers exploded down her spine.
Tilting her head, she opened more, forgetting to breathe, forgetting everything but the need to surrender to him. When he pulled away, it was her turn to growl.
Watching Conlan grip the hem of his T-shirt and strip it off was worth his absence. His broad, muscular chest was revealed—smooth, beautiful skin stretched across powerful ridges of muscle; pecs topped with a smattering of dark hair and dark brown nipples. Saliva rushed to her mouth at the sight.
He flicked open the button of his jeans and slid down the zipper, but his workout shorts worked as well as boxers at blocking her view of more. Still, he was right in front of her, right where she could reach him, touch him. She swore her knees wobbled. All that warm muscle, just waiting for her. He didn’t give her time, though. His arms encircled her, hauling her tight against his chest, and her knees did give way. Nothing had ever felt as good as this. Nothing ever would. She knew, at that very moment, that Conlan was setting a standard she would judge every man in her life by. And none of them would ever meet it.
His lips came back to hers. Parted. His kiss wiped away thoughts of the future as the slick slide of his lips and the demanding thrust of his tongue became her world. All she could do was move in time to the rhythm he set, savoring his presence in her mouth, feeling the need in his touch. Hard hands clamped on to her rear and lifted, and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his hips. There was no fear of falling, of being too heavy and having him drop her. Conlan gave her that confidence, and she trusted him. When her back met the wall, she arched against it, forcing her pelvis harder into his.
He broke the kiss. “God, Jess.” One hand reached between them and undid the button of her jeans. “Now.”
“Now.” Absolutely.
