Page 63 of Teach Me
“Jess.”
A sniffle broke the silence.
Then a muffled choke.
Then a soft cry.
Her pain was shredding his gut like a razor. He reached across the bed, into the darkness, and dragged her forcibly to him. Jess startled awake.
“Shh, baby. It’s all right.”
Her tense muscles relaxed at the sound of his voice. “I was dreaming…”
“I know.” Spooning her, he tucked her hips against his crotch, tilted his head down over hers, and kissed the bare skin of her shoulder. “I know. You’re okay now.”
Jess shuddered. Her head settled lower in the pillow, giving him access to her neck, baring herself to him. “I’m glad you’re here,” she whispered.
“Me too,” he said against her skin.
“I’m scared.”
Those two little words ripped his guts out. He clamped his hands together over her belly, right over the spot where his child might grow, if not now then in the future, and prayed his touch would ease her. “Tell me.”
Jess drew in a ragged breath. “I know…I know it has to be done, in my head, but—” Another breath. “My body remembers what he did, how much it hurt, how terrifying…” A hard tremor shook her almost out of his arms. “I don’t want to go through that again.”
And this was why he’d come unglued earlier. He wanted to tell her she wouldn’t, but lying wasn’t an option, not between them. And as much as he’d try to prevent it, he knew there was a possibility she would get hurt. That was why none of the scenarios they’d run felt acceptable. Anything could happen.
And usually did.
But he wouldn’t tell her that either. He’d hope for the best even though the world had taught him not to a long time ago.
He gave her, gave them both, the only reassurance he had. “You are strong, Jess, the strongest woman I know. You can get through anything. I will do my best to protect you.”
“I know you will.”
He closed his eyes, absorbing the absolute certainty in her voice. “Just remember, no matter what happens, no matter what goes wrong, what he does, I’ll come. No matter what.”
“No matter what,” she whispered. The trust in her words wound around his heart, binding him even more than his promise.
“Jess…” His heart in his throat, Con breathed deep, then placed his lips right against her ear. “I love you, baby. So much. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone ever before.”
Jess twisted around until they were face-to-face. Her eyes glittered in the darkness, the only light he could see. “Say it again.”
“I love you.” His hand shook as he reached out to tuck the thick fall of her hair behind one ear. “I love you.”
“Con—” The word choked off. Her arms slid around his neck, then, “Help me. Help me be strong.”
Light glinted off the tears as they sneaked onto her lashes. “Don’t cry, baby, please. Not about this. I’ll be beside you the whole way.” Except their plan meant that wouldn’t always be true. Helpless to find the answers they both needed, the answers that would make everything all right, he pulled her tight to him and took her mouth.
The tears kept coming. She sobbed into his mouth, and he took her fear, her pain into his soul. He held her as tight as his muscles would allow, and still it wasn’t close enough, secure enough to keep her safe, to make the tears go away. She needed to cry; he’d let her cry. He held her and kissed her and felt his heart swell with love until, as quickly as the tears had come, they stopped, and Jess lay quiet, exhausted, in his arms.
She finally tilted her head up, her breath brushing his neck as she whispered against his skin, “I love you too, Conlan James. So much. Always.”
It felt a little too much like good-bye.
Con stole the last word with his kiss, and in the hours that followed, he made sure every part of her was filled completely by him, including her heart.
Chapter Twenty-Three
