Page 6 of Assassin's Heart
I knelt there, her soft, trembling body against mine, and knew, in that moment, that I was lost. I had long ago decided never to walk back into her life. I could never be what she needed, except right now I actually was. Everything she needed.
I couldn’t walk away from that.
And some damned part of me, down deep where I’d buried it alongside those memories of family and love and peace, was fucking ecstatic. I was holding the woman I loved in my arms for the very first time.
While she cried for her missing child.
Christ, I was a bastard.
The knowledge made my voice rougher than I wanted. “We need to go.”
Leah shook her head against my chest.
I eased back, tilted her chin up until those liquid brown eyes met mine. “We need to go.”
She blinked, still hazy. A pair of tears rolled down her cheeks.
I don’t know what I was thinking; hell, maybe I wasn’t thinking at all. I’d thought my instincts were all for killing, not for caring. But something I couldn’t resist pushed me forward until my lips trapped a tear against her skin. My tongue snaked out to brush it away, to take the taste of her pain into my mouth. I moved to the other side and traced the path of her tears from jaw to eye, her lashes fluttering against my skin. When I straightened, so did she.
Our lips barely brushed each other.
Something powerful, something holy clenched my heart into a fucking knot behind my too-tight ribs.
“Leah”—I grabbed her arms and moved her away from me, telling myself I wasn’t tearing a piece of me out while doing it—“we need to go.” I made myself breathe, focus. “We can’t find her tonight.” At least not from here. Back home I had what I needed to get us started.
Leah looked anywhere but at me. Was she angry? Disgusted?
Did it matter?
“I can’t—”
“You can.” Pushing myself to my feet, I dragged her up with me. “What is it he wants? Is it here?” I doubted it considering the state of the house. Leah wouldn’t keep something here that might draw danger to her daughter.
When she didn’t answer, I gave her a little shake. “Is it?”
Making a visible effort to pull herself together, she wiped the backs of her hands across her eyes, smearing mascara as she went. She looked like she had been through hell and back—and she had—and still I had a hard time believing any woman could be so beautiful.
Would you get your mind on now and not your dick?
I dropped my hands. “Leah?”
Fists clenched at her side. She lifted her head to glare at me. “Go to hell, Remi.”
I wanted to hear my full name on her lips—not the shortened version, but the whole thing, just once. I wanted her to say it when we were as close as we’d been moments ago. To say it when I was inside her. I wanted—
To hell with what I wanted.Bastard, remember? Be the bastard you both need you to be.
“I’m all you’ve got right now, so if I’m going to hell, you better pack for warm weather.”
“I’m not leaving.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You want to stay here with Mrs. Lydia?”
The words drained the fight from Leah’s body—exactly what I’d hoped to accomplish. The stricken look on her face made me wish I could kick my own ass.
I forced my own anger out with a deep breath. “Look, I don’t have anything here that can help you. I need you to come with me.” I held up the phone. “They obviously know how to contact you.”
She reached for the phone, and I slipped it back into my pocket. If she got ahold of it, I’d probably never see her again. At least if she had a say in it.
