Page 29 of Assassin's Prey
“Remi…” Fuck. I hated this. I was the only father they truly remembered, but my dad—he’d been a good man. The best. I didn’t want to know how he’d feel about what I did for a living, what I’d drawn Remi and Eli into. Some of his lessons, his morals had stuck with me. That’s why I was so careful about the jobs I took. But the rest…
I didn’t know how to do this part of who I was.
“Just tell me, bro.”
His gaze drifted to the hall Abby had disappeared down. “It’s a woman.”
My heart literally seized. “Abby?”
“No!”
Relief deflated me quickly. So Abby reminded him of the woman he wanted. Or of what he wanted to have.
I watched him carefully as the pieces came together in my mind. “You won’t let yourself have her.”
“Fuck no.”
Not a surprise. Look at where I was coming from. But I had to ask… “Why not?”
“Take a look around, Levi. Why would I put her through all this?”
I couldn’t agree with him more, though I didn’t say it aloud. I wanted far more for my brothers—and Abby; especially for Abby—than I’d ever wanted for myself.
“My and Abby’s problems stem from the people around us, circumstances, not necessarily who we are.”Which is why her house is a pile of fucking charcoal—because of the people in my past.
“Then run away,” Remi said. “Leave all this behind.”
“I can’t.” Even if I could, I wouldn’t. My brothers might be adults, but they were still mine to protect.
“Why not? A couple of fake IDs, some disguises and you could be on your way to the Caribbean by nightfall with no way to track you.”
I ground my teeth together, dropped my gaze to the shiny tabletop.
“But you won’t, will you?”
“I should. Likely it would be the best way to keep Abby safe. That wouldn’t protect you or Eli from whoever Chadwick is working for. With.” I waved a hand vaguely. “Whatever.”
“That’s not the only reason and you know it.”
I took a deep breath and met Remi’s gold eyes. “You’re right.” Nathaniel Agozi’s sense of justice—and the injustice of his and Miriam’s deaths—would never let me walk away. Amos might have pulled the trigger, but it had led to this, to someone else trying to kill for their money. I couldn’t let them go free, even to keep the woman I loved safe.
“I can’t walk away either,” Remi said. “This”—he flung his arms wide—“is who I am. It’s all I know. I might try, for her, but I would only take it with me. And possibly destroy her in the process.”
Just like I had Abby. And I didn’t just mean her house. She wanted all of me, but I was too fractured to give her that. Too scarred at my very core.
Remi was watching me. “Now you get it.”
“I do, brother.” And I had no idea what to do about it, for either of us.
Remi’s fists went tight, his knuckles paling at the force. “I would rather never have her than to put her through hell.”
“Abby’s life isn’t hell,” I argued. It wasn’t great at the moment, but I couldn’t deny the impulse to defend her, defend us.
“But she’s not totally yours, is she? She’s in limbo. And believe me,” Remi said grimly, “that’s hell for a woman.”
“What else can I give her?”
Remi shook his head. “That’s exactly my point. She’d be happier, better off without you. But now that you’ve started with her, she can’t free herself.”
