Page 90 of Fall With Me
“What’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours?” Kate asks.
“At this point? All I’m worried about is having enough energy to clean up the festival and drive myself home safely.”
She picks up my tube of lip stain, examining the color. “Lucky for you, I’m staying late to help. I’m sure Carter will too.”
I’m relieved I’ll have extra hands. My energy is zapped. I need caffeine and pain meds to get me through the rest of the night. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Now, tell me what you’re actually worried about. I saw the way you’ve avoided Dawson as much as possible.”
I lean against the counter, folding my arms across my chest. “I haven’t avoided him. We’ve been busy decorating.”
Her head cocks to one side, her chin drops, and one eyebrow rises. “Really?”
I shrug and nod.
“You’re a terrible liar, Chlo.”
I throw my arms out to the side. “All right, fine! Every time I see Dawson or Finn, I’m reminded of the mistake I made. How I messed up my relationship with the one guy I pictured a future with. I’m a failure and I hurt Finn, justlike my mom hurt Carter and me. I am her, Kate. I knew I shouldn’t have asked Dawson on a date, but I let myself chase after my dream and we all turned to ash in the process. I’m back to being single for life.”
Kate takes my hand in hers, squeezing it with comfort and reassurance. “I never met your mom, Chlo, but you have one of the biggest hearts of everyone I’ve ever met. You arenother. There’s no addiction, no terrible boyfriend influencing you.Youare in control of your life. Not your mom. Please stop letting your mom’s mistakes shut everyone out of your life. Youcanhave Dawson and Finn, but only if you stop running every time there’s a mistake. Finn’s a kid. He could have gotten hurt with Dawson, at school, playing football.
“Face your fear and go all in. I’m here and there’s not much you can do to make me go away. From the way Dawson’s gazed longingly at you today, I’m pretty sure he’s there for you too. Same with Carter and your grandparents. We love you, Chloe, but it’s time for you to choose what it isyouwant, not what you want to avoid.”
I face myself in the mirror, staring at my eyes. My sadness and worries reflect back at me. I’ve lived the past twenty years guarding my heart. Doing my best to keep myself safe. How do I snap my fingers and just let this go? “I don’t know how.”
Kate’s eyes lock with mine in the mirror. Her smile says she has a secret. “Actually, Chlo, you do. I witnessed how happy you were a few short weeks ago. Whatever you were doing when you and Dawson were officially dating? That’s what you need to do again.”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t me. It was Dawson. He made it easy to be around him and Finn. He listened when I talked and we bonded over my mom being the worst and his ex leaving their child. We didn’t do much but hang out and plan this festival.”
“That’s my point. You took it one day at a time doing life together. Talk to Dawson, then forgive yourself and move on.”
Kate’s words sink deep into my soul. Life without Dawson and Finn is miserable. I’ve cried way too much the last week and a half, and the hole in my chest constantly aches. When we were together, I was scared, but I jumped right in and didn’t regret my decision until Finn got hurt. But as Kate said, Finn’s a kid. This won’t be his last injury, and I want to be there for him during his next one.
Yes, fear and worry are there, but so are hope and happiness.
I can do this. One baby step at a time. “You’re right. I don’t want to be alone the rest of my life and I do need to focus on what’s happening now and not what happened in the past. But not tonight.”
Kate bumps her shoulder into mine. “I’ve yet to steer you wrong, babe.”
Tears sting my eyes. I blink rapidly. There’s no time for tears or fixing my mascara. “Thank you for being my friend, Kate. I love you.”
“Aw.” She pulls me into a hug. “I love you too.”
We break apart, smiling and laughing at each other.
“Enough cheesy sentiments. Let’s do this thang,” Kate says with a sassy attitude.
I gather up my items and follow my best friend out the door and into the festival, ready to get this festival over with so I can focus on my future.
Hopefully, one Dawson wants with me.
Chapter 42
Dawson
“Mom! Dad!” I say, greeting my parents the second they get out of their car in the parking lot. “Thank you so much for coming.”
Mom gives me a quick hug. “Of course, honey. We’re happy to help. Where do you want us?”
