Page 34 of Leviticus
When he had joined me in the bathtub, it had continued. His hands had bathed me, washed me, cleansed me. His lips had planted soft kisses along the back of my neck and shoulders, eliciting shivers and goosebumps rose up over my skin. It was heady and heated, yet calm and soothing all in one fell swoop.
I shifted around in the bed, wanting to look at his face this morning. When I did, awkwardly, get turned around, I gasped to see his deep blue eyes open and looking at me.
“Oh, um, good morning, Levi,” I whispered. His brows furrowed in confusion.
“Why are you whispering?”
“Um, to be quiet? In the morning?” I answered, finding myself befuddled by his question.
“Yes, but why?” he pushed, his arms still holding me close.
“Because it’s morning.”
“But why be quiet?” He asked again, like that somehow made it all make sense.
“I whisper because it’s rude to wake others up,” I rolled my eyes.
“Who would you be waking up? I’m up. You’re up. There’s no one else here,” he chuckled.
“Oh, well, I guess I hadn’t really thought about it. Years of habit, I suppose,” I answered after consideration.
“You blush a lot,” he commented, and I didn’t know how to respond. It was true, I did. But it wasn’t like I could help it.
“So, more sleep or breakfast?” he asked, mid yawn.
“Breakfast, I think.” Once I was up in the morning, I was up. Growing up, my younger sisters were the exact opposite. They were constantly asking for five more minutes of sleep, a habit Mama had been trying for over a decade to break. I wondered how they were doing now, without Adah and I there.
I turned away from him, scooting to the edge of the bed and stepping onto the cold floors before tears could well up in my eyes. I missed my family. I wanted to be here, especially after last night, but I missed my sisters terribly. I had prepared for this, for parting from my family and cleaving to my new husband, but it wasn’t what I had thought it would be. I wanted both. Why couldn’t I be both wife and sister? Wife and daughter?
It wasn’t the way things were done in Zion. I would still see my siblings, of course, especially Adah, but my younger sisters and I would have an entirely new relationship. They would still attend all the schooling and classes and activities that all young, unwed girls did. Adah and I would attend more functions together, though perhaps not now that she was about to be a mother. I felt alone in it. Mama and Adah in one class, Esther and Charity in another, and me stuck somewhere in the middle.
I made my way to the bathroom to prepare for the morning, washing my face and brushing my teeth and hair. I looked in the mirror to see that my hair was tightly wound in a nest of a mess, likely from last night’s activities. I was mortified that Levi had seen me in such a state.
Once I was ready and changed for the day, I made my way downstairs to begin breakfast. Levi must have gone to the other bathroom to prepare for the day, as he sat at the dining room table already, the perfect picture of class. And looking handsome as all get out, if I were being honest. It was harder to not look at him now. Now that I had seen him without any clothing on. Now that I had felt his hands on mine, had heard his voice whispering passionate, rasped words into my ear as he took me to such rapturous heights. Now that I had felt his body behind mine, holding me in the warm water as it soothed both of us and brought us closer. Now that I had felt him hold me for an entire night, like I mattered.
I turned away, a small smile on my face of contentment as I began to prepare our food. I wanted pancakes this morning. It felt indulgent, but after last night, it felt like the perfect choice. I mixed the batter quickly, almost absentmindedly, as I recalled every detail from last night again. He had shocked me when he pushed me against the wall. His hand on my throat should have felt like a threat, should have felt like danger, but it didn’t. The look in his eyes wasn’t harm. It was something I didn’t have words for. Something deep and passionate and I wanted it. I wanted to know what that depth, that fire, was. And he showed me.
I sighed, pouring the first pancake into the sizzling pan. I remembered the way I had felt just like that pan last night, hot, near scorching as he touched me, as he played my body. I hadn’t known that it would be that way. Mama and Adah had never mentioned it. Granted, they had not mentioned many things, truth be told. Perhaps this was another of those things they held secret, like the realities of the inspection and consummation. I wished they hadn’t kept any of it secret, but I suppose that just wasn’t the way things were done. They would know more than I did.
The pancakes finished up quickly, and I plated them, adding a few pieces of cut fruit I found in the refrigerator. I set Levi’s in front of him and somehow expected some kind of reaction, but he didn’t even lift his head from the magazine he was reading.
I quietly took my own seat and sat patiently, waiting for him to begin. I wanted my meal to please him and was looking forward to the look on his face. I was proud of the cook I had become thanks to Mama’s and my grandmother’s teachings. Still, he read his magazine.
I took a deep breath and decided to eat, anyway.
“I hope you like pancakes,” I finally said after a long pause and two bites of my own food.
“Hmm? Oh, yes, thank you,” he finally spoke, glancing away from the article and to the plate in front of him. I wanted to scold him for not eating right away, to tell him the food was getting cold as all griddled breakfasts tend to, but I refrained.
“May I ask what you are reading? You seem very invested and I would love to hear about it,” I offered, eager to learn more about the man, my husband, who had finally started opening up to me.
“It’s none of your concern,” he shrugged me off, inconsequentially. I paused, the fork lifted halfway to my mouth in surprise.
“Well, I would love to hear about it, should you change your mind. I’m sure whatever it is, is fascinating,” I tried again, hoping my tone showed an easy attitude and not the affronted surprise I truly felt.
“Hmm.” It was a noise, not even a response. We ate in silence for a few more minutes before I tried again.
“What do you have on your agenda today? I was thinking perhaps we could take that walk we discussed a few days ago. I would love to see the property.”
