Page 31 of Complete Me

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Me: You busy? I need you.

P: I’m free. Laying in bed breathing in my eucalyptus inhaler.

Me: What? Why?

P: Trying to get the smell of chemicals and decaying flesh out of my nose.

P: What’s up?

Me: Jesus I don’t even want to know

P: Life of a med student. You do not want to know.

Me: He’s tattooing me right now

P: No way! Hottie Reid? I don’t understand the problem here …

Me: He’s so close to the inside of my bikini line

Me: Right. Now.

P: Okay??? Isn’t that where you wanted the tattoo?

Me: There’s a lot of…vibrations going on.

Me: A lot. Help me!

P: *Spitting water out emoji*

P: You’re getting turned on? Haha!

Me: Omg don’t make me laugh P! I have to stay still!

Me: Talk me off the ledge you bitch!

P: I hope his hand doesn’t slip!

Me: Jesus Christ.

Me: The vibrations are. Right. There.

P: Pain plus vibrations…I’d be screwed

Me: Omfg. Help me Piper!

P: I’m no helpam I?

Me: Useless bitch

P: Think about the word musk

Me: So gross

P: Yay I helped

Me: Haha idiot

Me: Fucking hell