Page 12 of Complete Me
Malice may pull some absolutely crazy shit, but he’s one of us and he loves fucking hard. He’d only ever hurt someone who came after one of his brothers, and only if provoked. The club is his family, just as it is to each of us.
We pack up, Wrath grumbling about Malice not getting blood on his shoes, and head back to the compound. It’s late and I should probably crash in my room in the clubhouse, but I want to get home and back to my normal. I have to balance the two lives I live carefully, because if I don’t, they could easilycross, and I won’t make the same mistakes I made before. I can’t.
The hot spray of the shower beats down on my body as I relax further, letting the water wash away the blood on my hands, both figuratively and metaphorically. I watch as it swirls down the drain and replay Wrath’s words. He’s not wrong. I’m lonely. Even if I’m surrounded by my brothers at the club, and my brothers here in Aspen Ridge. Even if I have my studio and I’m doing a job that I’m passionate about. Nights like this are lonely. When the exhaustion settles in bone deep, when all the hope evaporates. I wonder what it would be like if my life were different. If I had a good woman to come home to who loves me.
As the blood continues to swirl at the bottom of the tile, I know that will never happen. How would she be okay with this? Plus, my heart died a decade ago and hasn’t beat since. I’d have nothing to give her in return but a warm bed and loyalty. Surely that can’t be enough?
After my shower, I lay down on my bed, exhausted in every way, and without any light, I wait for the darkness to finally consume me.
CHAPTER 3
kinsey
I relaxin the studio apartment that I wanted so badly and wonder for a split second why I wanted to leave my parents’ house in the first place. It’s been a full week on my own, and I know this is good for me, that it’s exactly what I was desperately craving. I need my independence like I need air to breathe. But the quiet between these small walls is starting to get to me. It’s too quiet.
My entire life, I’ve had roommates. Born into a family with four older brothers and two parents who thrive amongst the chaos of a large family, I’ve never known such a novelty. Even when I went off to college, I had roommates. I spent so much time wishing for a place of my own to relish in the peace and quiet, but now that it’s here, it’s eerie and brings me whatever the opposite of peace is. Even with music on, it’s the lack of hushed chatter, the shuffle of movement, the snicking of doors, and clicks of locks that are missing. The noiseless space between these four walls just may drive me crazy.
I flip aimlessly through my Kindle library, tryingto find something to do. Ivy and Blaire are obsessed with romance novels and have stocked my Kindle with their favorites. They have no idea I’ve been reading these babies for years. I appreciate their recommendations, though, even if I have read some of them already. I love escaping into a book and living out a love story vicariously through the characters.
Not able to find one that feels right at the moment, I toss my Kindle aside and grab my phone, bringing up my group chat with my brothers. The one that is constantly going off. Boundaries weren’t something the five of us learned, and we are ridiculously close. They may be overbearing and protective, but they love so hard and are the best people to be around.
Me: Anyone free?
Dallas: ….we’re working?
Dallas: Or did you forget we all have normal day jobs with no summers off?
Shit. I forgot it was a random weekday, of course no one is going to be around to hang out with. Only teachers have summers off, and since that’s me, now that I’ve completed my first year teaching kindergarten at our local elementary school, I have to find something to fill my time for the next two months.
Sawyer: Everything ok little sis?
Me: Yeah. Just bored.
Liam: Call one of your friends?
Me: They’re either on vacation or shocker, also working.
Dallas: Sounds like a personal problem sis
Me: Why are you a dickhead?
Sawyer: We’ve been asking this question for years
Carter: Let us know if you find the answer
Seeing my brother Carter’s name, I’m instantly hit with an idea. I quickly add his boyfriend, Finn, to our group chat, hoping like hell he will be free since he works from home full time.
Finn was added to the chat
Me: Finny! Are you free? I’m bored out of my mind
Finn: Hey? Are you all sure I’m cool enough to be in this inner Hayes sibling club?
Sawyer: Wtf? You all removed Ivy from it!
Dallas: Out with you!
Liam: Han’s not even in here.
