Page 51 of Next to Everything We Wanted
I groaned. “Gosh, Asher, do you not know whatfriendsmean?”
“Friends don’t laugh at their phone the way you’ve been laughing at yours.”
“And what do you know about platonic versus romantic relationships?” I scoffed. “You just learned how to tie your shoes.”
“Actually, I still can’t do that. But when my friends like someone, they laugh all the time.”
“Come on, Asher. Just because Sienna has XX chromosomes doesn’t mean it’s any different than when I talk to Phoenix or Forrest.”
He blinked. “What the heck is a chromosome?”
I sighed. “The point is that people need to learn that boys and girls can be just friends. For example, Celeste has never tried to date any of the guys. And they’re not ugly. Well, other than the time Ellis dyed his hair blue. I wouldn’t want to be more than friends with that, either.”
Asher snorted. “He looked so funny. You should dye your hair a crazy color.”
“No way.” I laughed. “I can’t have people’s eyes bleed when they watch me perform on Friday nights.”
“Too bad.” Asher let out a breath. “Sometimes I wish you’d talk to me more.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “I’m sorry that I’ve been on my phone too much.”
He shook his head. “I wish you’dtalkto me. About serious stuff.”
“We talk about serious stuff,” I said. “Everything you say is serious to me.”
Asher sighed. “No, like serious, serious stuff. Like love and breakups and the important stuff in your life.” He looked around to see if anyone else was listening before saying, “Like how you worked through your past.”
I frowned. “Why do you want to talk about those things?”
“Because brothers are supposed to talk about those things,” he said, his voice rising. “My friends have older siblings who talk them through serious things, but you change the subject every time. You do it to Mom and Dad, too, and it makes them sad.”
“I don’t like talking about those things,” I snapped, sounding more defensive than I’d meant to. “I don’t want to talk about my past, or my breakup with Celeste, or my anxiety or?—”
“What’s going on?” Mom asked, turning her head toward us.
“Nothing,” I said.
“That’s it!” Asher shouted, throwing the frisbee down in the sand. “All you say is nothing. Nothing this, nothing that. How would you feel if I just said nothing to you all the time?”
“I’m not obligated to tell you things I don’t want to talk about!” I shot back. “You don’t understand. You haven’t been through anything. You haven’t gone to hell and back like I have.Why would I want to ruin things by talking about every crappy thing in my life?”
“Enough!” Mom shouted.
“You’re so mean,” Asher told me, tears clouding his stormy eyes. “I miss the days when you weren’t such a jerk.”
“Asher!” Mom hissed. “Apologize, right now!”
“No!” Asher took off running into the distance.
“Gosh.” Mom dropped her magazine and chased after Asher. “You’re grounded when we get home, do you hear me?”
I stood there frozen, Asher’s words stabbing me in the heart over and over until it bled out.I miss the days when you weren’t such a jerk. How was I a jerk for not wanting to talk about my problems? I liked to keep them close to the chest, knowing it’d turn out alright after I got through the initial pain. I’d always been that way. What made him want me to be different?
Dad, who had been standing in the ocean, walked back to his seat. “What happened? Where are your mom and Asher?”
I sighed, fighting the tears that stung in the back of my eyes. “They’ll be back.”
As soon as the sun rose Tuesday morning, I didn’t hesitate to drive back home. When I arrived, I was back to my long text sessions with Sienna. It blew my mind how we could talk for hours about the most random things, from favorite foods to shows that should and shouldn’t get a reboot. We hadn’t talked about anything serious, but that was more than okay with me. It was fun, relaxing.
