Page 86 of Fall I Want
“They were amazing. You’re lucky to have them.”
She nods and smiles.
“Dinner tonight with my sister,” I say, and we awkwardly stand in front of one another. I take a step forward and hold out my arms, and we exchange a friendly hug.
She turns and walks up the stairs. I glance over my shoulder at her and smile before she goes inside.
On the way back to the Jeep, I turn on my phone. After I shove it back into my pocket, it buzzes. It’s my dad’s number. Part of me wants to reject it and send him to voicemail like I have since I left the city. Today is different.
“Zane? Did you actually answer?”
“How can I help you?” I breathe out.
“Happy birthday!” he says.
“Thanks.”
“Where are you? I’ve been worried.”
“Have you?” I ask.
“Don’t act like an asshole. I called to check on you.”
“Sure you didn’t call to confirm I’d be at the wedding?”
“You’re my best man. It would hurt if you weren’t there.”
The lump in my throat grows three sizes too big and the silence lingers for a few seconds as I watch the leaves roll across the ground. My mother would want me to attend, even though I don’t feel likemy father was there when I needed him the most. We grieve in our own ways.
“What happened between you and Celine wasn’t right, and I hate that she’s still around and you have to be subjected to her presence. I don’t support their behavior, but son, listen to me when I say she did you a favor. I want better for you than—”
“Please, stop. Okay? I’ll be there.”
He lets out a sigh of relief.
“But,” I blurt, “I want you to ensure that me and my date will be left alone. If my boundaries are crossed, I’ll leave without saying a word to anyone.”
“Whatever you need.”
I unlock the Jeep and climb inside.
“Great. I can’t wait for you to meet my girlfriend.” It feels right calling her my girlfriend.Mine.
“You’re seeing someone? This is news to me.”
“I’m not discussing my private life with you.” I end the call using the same words he gave me when I learned he was marrying my ex–best friend’s mother.
He can do what he wants. I’ll support my father because I love him, but there is a lot of hurt I haven’t worked through. Therapy has helped some.
Once I’m home, I clean up the mess in the backyard, then go upstairs for a shower.
On the counter rests an orange toothbrush and it makes me smile.
The hot stream pounds against me and I close my eyes, succumbing to it. Remembering how Autumn’s body felt molded to mine, knowing she was touching herself next to me.
My cock begged me to take her right there. She wanted me to, nearly asked me, but I know sex complicates things, blindspeople. I won’t cross a line unless we’re sober. No excuses. No regrets.
The sound of her greedy pants plays on repeat and I grab myself, stroking. Goddamn.
