Page 24 of Fall I Want
“May I drive you home?” he asks.
“No, thank you. I live a few blocks away,” I say, shoving my hands into my pockets.
“May I walk with you?”
“Why?” I glance at him, needing to escape his presence.
“Because this conversation isn’t over. You never texted me.” He sounds disappointed.
“I find it hilarious that you thought I would, like you can tell me what to do. You getoneIOU, Alex.One.If you want to use it on me texting you, I’ll do it right now so we can end this game. Then you can bounce back to living in a world where I don’t exist.”
“We’re past that,” he confirms. His words are confident, like he knows something I don’t.
I look at him like he’s insane.
“What are you afraid of?” He narrows his eyes. He’s serious.
“Pfft.” I try to blow him off.
His expression doesn’t change and my heart rate ticks upward.
The door to Bookers swings open and a few regulars from the coffee shop pass by. Some of them slow and I know they’re listening. This conversation shouldn’t take place here. The last thing I need is for rumors about me and him to spread around town. Several people already noticed he joined us for drinks and sat with me. Not to mention our little exchange at the coffee shop weeks ago.
“Not here. Come on,” I say, and he follows. We walk across the street and he unlocks his Jeep with wide tires. It’s a dream on wheels. He sets his paper bag of food on the passenger seat, then returns to me.
I lead him to a sitting area that overlooks the pumpkin patch, which will open this weekend for the first official day of autumn. He sits next to me and his leg touches mine. He relaxes and places his arm around the back of the bench like he doesn’t have a worry in the world as he watches people.
“Why are you so determined to be close?” The smell of his soap and cologne pulls me under.
“I enjoy watching your heart rate increase,” he admits.
Denying it is impossible. I wish he didn’t notice what he does to me.
When his fingers brush against the outside of my arm, I stop breathing. My body betrays me. I remind myself that he’s rude and men like him are used to playing games.
Alex stares out into the open field.
The grass was cut this morning and the fresh scent lingers in the air.
Five minutes pass and I wait for him to start the conversation, but he doesn’t.
I turn to him, wanting to get this over with so I can go home. “What does the man who has everything want from little ole me?”
“Friendship.”
It’s the last thing on earth I thought he’d say. Laughter escapes me and bounces off the building across the way. I glance at Alex, waiting for the punch line, but he’s not smiling.
My heart lurches forward, and it’s not lost on me that, at this moment, I’m the asshole.
Chapter 6
Alexander
Iguess considering how I’ve acted toward her each time we’ve been together, I’d believe it was a joke as well.
She notices my blank expression and her smile fades.
I glance away and focus on the chilly breeze against my cheeks. My very expensive therapist, the one I’ve seen online weekly since the breakup, has given me different tips to gain control when my anxiety threatens to take over. The one that seems to work the best is thefive, four, three, two, onemethod.
