Page 11 of Fall I Want
Ten minutes later, I pull onto the twisty road to the ski resort.
At the halfway mark, I turn off onto a private drive that’s cut out between the forest. I stop at the reader and slide my card against it. The iron gate clicks and automatically slides open. Once I’m through it, I wait for it to lock closed before leaving. The last thing I need are tourists from the resort and Cozy Hollow rolling up on me.
My heart pounds hard in my chest as I take the paved single-track road that slowly winds its way through the woods as I climb the mountain. It’s been a long time since I’ve been here and I think back to old memories. When the large gothic house comes into view, I smile. The driveway wraps in front of the house and leads to the garage in the back. I click the sensor that’s already programmed in my Jeep and drive in.
I step through the backyard, and it’s exactly how I remember it, with Mom’s butterfly garden and the greenhouse full of flowers she grew. The property has been maintained weekly, even though no one has visited for twenty years. When I was given the keys, I had no desire to come back to Cozy Hollow. I wasn’t ready to be here, but after the shit I’ve been through this year, I am.
It’s the only place I can escape.
The back door is unlocked, and I step inside. The cathedral ceilings and the large windows allow the sun to leak in. When I turn, my eyes scan over the long counter lined with bar stools. I think about Mom and the homemade pumpkin cinnamon rolls she made us every Saturday morning. The countless breakfasts we ate and the coffee she’d let us drink.
I smile as I’m transported back and close my eyes, almost imagining the laughter in the kitchen. My father couldn’t be with us from August to December, so it was just Harper and me with her. My sister and I were pissed that we wouldn’t be returning to boarding school for the semester.
Instead, my mother had hired a private teacher to go through our lessons. It felt like a prison, but we didn’t know the reality of the situation yet. She wanted to make memories in one of her favorite places in the world before she started chemo.
When I open my eyes, my jaw is clenched tight and I try to relax.
I check the fridge and the pantry. Both are stocked full of food, per my instructions. I’m impressed by how fast my request was met.
I walk through the living room, glancing at the gigantic fireplace, unlock the front door, and step onto the porch that wraps in an L-shape, giving a view of the Rockies in the distance. The black rocking chairs are still in the same place they were. It’s almost as if no time has passed at all.
It’s a perfect day and the mountains are visible. I inhale the freshmountain air, unpacking all the shit I’ve been harboring for far too long. Once I’m back inside, I take the wide stairs that lead to the top floor, hoping that when I leave here in January, I’ll be a different man.
My hand glides up the smooth, hand-carved railing, which is adorned with whimsical embellishments. It’s the small details in this house, the tiny things most people don’t pay attention to. Mom had her own style, and every square foot is her. Each room in the house is quirky in its own way. I could never change it because this property is the only place where my mother’s presence and personality haven’t been erased.
It doesn’t feel like home yet, but it will. My sister confidently predicted it.
Chapter 3
Autumn
My phone buzzes on the nightstand next to my bed and wakes me from the nap I had to take after work today. Despite being nothing out of the ordinary, the morning shift felt harder than usual.
The text messages pour in from Julie. I sit up, shaking the grogginess that’s threatening to take over. While I love napping, I try not to go for over an hour or I’ll be up all night.
Julie
Did your headache go away?
Julie
Still going for a run?
Julie
Don’t sleep too long or you’re gonna feel like shit tomorrow!
She knows me well.
Autumn
I’m up five minutes early because of you. And yes, I’m going running. I need to clear my head.
Julie
Alex still under your skin?
Autumn
