Page 72 of No Going Back
Amelie picked up half the grilled cheese and took a bite, giving him a smile around the mouthful. “You’re getting better at this.” She held it out so he could see. “The cheese is all the way melted this time.”
Like everything else he’d attempted to tackle recently, cooking was proving to be more difficult than he’d anticipated. “I think I might just need to learn to have a little more patience and stop trying to cook everything as fast as possible.”
Amelie’s smile slipped a little. “It can be really hard to have patience sometimes.” Her free hand went to rest on her belly, fingers splayed across the curve of it. “Especially when you’re worried about how things are going to turn out.”
Unfortunately, he knew how things typically turned out for him, and it wasn’t good.
Griffin sat down in the chair across from her, taking a bite of his own grilled cheese—the one he rushed, burning the outside without fully melting the cheese. “Are you feeling okay today?”
Amelie shrugged. “I feel just as fine as I have every other day.” She sighed. “That’s part of what’s so scary. I didn’t even feel bad. I just started to bleed.”
“Sometimes things sideswipe you out of nowhere.” Griffin dropped the remnants of his sandwich onto the plate, his appetite disappearing. Because he honestly hadn’t been sideswiped. Dianna was right when she accused him of knowing who Janie was. He’d narrowed down the possibility almost immediately.
But, like he did with so many other things, he ignored the very real possibility, the likelihood even, that the Janie she worked with was probably the same Janie he once knew. The same Janie who chucked his clothes out of the window when he refused to admit how he felt about her, their relationship, or life in general.
Should he have questioned Dianna about her new employee? Explained they might have a connection? Probably. But he should have done a dozen other things too, and every one of them haunted him, keeping him up at night and torturing him during the day.
“So, are we ever going to find out what happened?” Amelie didn’t look at him as she dunked one corner of her sandwich into the bowl of soup.
Griffin forced his thoughts from Dianna and the aching pain losing her left him with. “What happened to what?”
Amelie lifted a brow as she bit off the soup-soaked bread. “What happened with you and Dianna.” She eyed him from where she sat. “You guys were dating, right?”
“I—” Griffin ran both hands down the front of his jeans, wiping away the slick of sweat suddenly collecting on his palms. “I’m not trying to have a relationship. I just want to focus on you and Troy. I want to be here when you guys need me.”
Amelie’s brows pinched together as she stared at him, silent and frowning. She stayed quiet long enough that he continued talking, needing to explain so she understood she and Troy were his top priority.
“I just want to be available when you guys need me. I don’t like that you feel like you can’t count on me. You two matter to me more than anything.”
Amelie’s head slowly cocked as she continued to stare at him. “I don’t think I understand what you’re saying.” She shook her head a little. “Like, at all.”
“I came to Moss Creek to be around you and Troy. That’s it.” This was why he didn’t try to open up. It was too hard to let anything out without risking all of it flooding free.
He couldn’t dig into what really happened with Dianna. Why her face no longer greeted him every morning. Why her soft body no longer pressed tight to his while he slept. Why she didn’t share his cologne in the mornings and fill her body with his at night.
Amelie focused on his face, abandoning her lunch. “You know you’re allowed to have a life of your own, right? We didn’t expect you to move here and give up everything.”
Griffin swallowed hard, fighting the urge to clam up. But that was a big part of what landed him where he was now—miserable with no real idea of how to find his way out of the mess he’d made. “I didn’t have anything to give up. My life was just about work. That’s it. That’s all I had.” He fought in a breath. “Finding Troy gave me a second chance and I don’t want to waste it.”
Amelie watched him, expression full of something uncomfortably close to pity. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course. You can ask me anything.” He loved her like a daughter. Wanted her to see how much she mattered to him. And it was finally becoming clear that opening up was one of the most important ways to do that.
“Do you expect Troy to ignore me after I have the baby?”
Griffin’s chin tucked, the surprise of her question throwing him off a little. “No.”
“You don’t think he would be a better father if he focused only on our baby?” Amelie’s follow-up question homed in on the point she was trying to make.
It was a point he was happy to argue. “Troy’s a better man than I am. He’s already proven he’s capable of being a good husband, so being a good father too isn’t that far of a stretch for him.”
“You’ve already proven you’re capable of being a good father. It’s not a stretch to assume you would be capable of being a good partner in a relationship too.” Amelie threw his words back in his face, twisting them just enough to suit her need.
“But I haven’t proven I’m a good father. You had to call Evelyn to bring clothes to the hospital because you thought I was too busy to bring them to you.” Not being there when they needed him still grated. “If I was that good of a dad you would’ve called me first.”
Amelie crossed her arms, resting them on the swell of her belly as she stared at him like he was the biggest fucking idiot she’d ever seen. “You’ve helped us more than anyone.” She lifted one hand, raising a finger in the air. “You helped fix up my grandma’s house.” She lifted another finger. “You’ve helped around Cross Creek every Sunday you’ve come over.” She lifted a third finger. “You’ve helped with the addition, you’ve taken my grandmother to doctors’ appointments, and you’ve been here every day for almost a freaking week waiting on me hand and foot.” She lifted her last two fingers at once. “Do you want me to keep going?”
Griffin stared at her, frowning and frustrated because Amelie clearly wasn’t looking at things the right way. “Those are just things a dad should do.”
