Page 68 of No Going Back
Because no matter how hard he tried to be a good man—one deserving of both his son and the woman he couldn’t make himself stay away from—that’s just not who he was.
He was, and always would be, exactly what so many women called him.
A selfish asshole.
TWENTY-FIVE
DIANNA
GRIFFIN WAS QUIET beside her on the swing, saying little to nothing as they ate their breakfast.
But that had been par for the course the past week. He was still clearly struggling with the scare Amelie had, but instead of continuing to open up to her about it like he had the first night, Griffin seemed to be shutting down.
Which was a problem. Not just for his sake, but for hers.
Of course she didn’t want him bottling up how he felt, but she didn’t want to have to do it either. Especially on a day like today.
“Do you have anything planned for today?” Dianna made an attempt at starting up a conversation, hoping he would latch onto it the way he used to.
Griffin tipped his head in a small nod. “I’ll probably work a little on the house and then go check on Amelie.”
She held her breath, waiting. Hoping he might elaborate on something. Offer up a few words she didn’t have to pry out of him. But like he had so many times over the past few days, Griffin fell silent again.
“I’m sure Amelie appreciates you coming out to check on her while Troy has to work.”
She understood Griffin’s desire to make sure Amelie was well taken care of. She was like a daughter to him. He’d been devastated by the thought that not only might something happen to the baby, but that Amelie would suffer as well. He was so open about it initially. Spilling out all his fears easily. Holding her so tight she could barely breathe. Desperately in need of reassurance and comfort.
Which made her worry. What if Griffin was capable of sharing his feelings, but only on his own terms. Only when his own needs outweighed the discomfort that came with opening up.
The possibility was devastating.
“What about you?” He glanced her way. “Anything special on your agenda?”
Dianna swallowed hard, nearly choking on the lump that immediately formed in her throat as she set down her barely touched plate. “I just want to get through the day.” She blinked a few times, working away the line of tears threatening to spring free. “It’s the anniversary of my grandmother’s death, so today’s always a tough day.”
Griffin’s expression immediately softened and he pulled her close, tucking her head under his chin as he cradled her face with one hand. “I’m sorry.”
Dianna relaxed, sniffing a little but feeling better at his display. Maybe she’d been wrong. Maybe she was just overreacting and emotional because this dreaded day had been hanging over her head.
Maybe Griffin wasn’t the issue at all. Maybe it was all her. Creating problems that didn’t exist. Overreacting. Expecting to be let down like she had so many times before.
He pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, breathing deep as his lips rested against her skin. Then he stood up, carefully extricating himself from the blanket as he collected his plate and hers, just like he did every morning.
Normally she was grateful. Normally she appreciated that he took the plates inside and washed them without being asked. But this morning, everything felt colder than normal and it had nothing to do with the weather.
When Griffin showed up on her doorstep a week ago, broken and battered, filled with fear and uncertainty, she’d dropped everything to be there for him. To make sure he knew he wasn’t alone. And while she understood he needed to put Amelie and Troy first, only getting a forehead kiss and a few words of apology on a day like today didn’t sit right.
Dianna worked her way up from the swing, folding up the electric blanket Griffin bought and carrying it inside with her as he finished up the dishes, stacking them into the rack before drying off his hands and turning her way. “I need to go pick up the tile I ordered so I can get started on the floor of the bathroom.” He lingered in the doorway, his uncertainty encouraging her to push him for more.
But she couldn’t do it. Not today.
“Okay.” Dianna smiled, ignoring the ache in her chest that seemed to be compounding by the minute. “I can’t wait to see it when you’re all done.”
Griffin almost looked sad, the flash of it squeezing her heart as it moved across his handsome features before being replaced by a hint of the wolfish smile she used to see so often. “You might decide you’re the one who needs to shower at my place once you get a peek at it.”
The glimpse of what they had such a short time ago was like a breadcrumb, tempting her to keep following along even though it wasn’t nearly enough to sustain her.
Griffin came close, his large frame taking up all the space and stealing all the air as his hands slid over her hips to cup her ass. “It’s plenty big enough for two people and comes with a free overnight stay in my bed if you need any extra motivation.” The press of his hard body was solid and warm as he pulled her closer, leaning down to brush his mouth along the line of her neck. “I also installed grip bars just in case you need a little stability while you’re getting all soaped up.”
