Page 52 of No Going Back
He’d spent his whole life making sure he never ended up in a relationship like his parents had. Stuffing down any upset or frustrations he felt to avoid creating a conflict that would escalate. But he’d also ended up missing out on experience handling moments like this, and right now that left him feeling completely inept. Completely unworthy of the woman he held close.
And, unless he focused her attention somewhere else, she’d figure it out sooner rather than later.
But intentionally distracting her in this moment felt wrong. Manipulative in a way he didn’t recognize before.
Dianna lifted her head, his stomach sinking as she focused on his face. He waited for whatever question he would have to answer. Whatever layer she wanted to peel away so she could get a look at all he tried to hide.
But to his surprise, Dianna smiled, the expression soft enough to soothe the upset in his gut. Her lower lip pinched between her teeth as she glanced back at the table. “You didn’t happen to also get pie, did you?”
NINETEEN
DIANNA
GRIFFIN HAD CLEARLY put a lot of effort into dinner, but it was something else he was working hard at that made her change the topic of conversation. He wasn’t a big talker, not when it came to anything involving vulnerability, but tonight he was trying to give her that. Even though it was clearly difficult and uncomfortable for him.
And, after working so hard to make the evening special, she didn’t want him to feel either of those.
Dianna traced the lettering across his shirt with one finger. “I’m actually kind of worn out. Maybe we could just relax and eat pie.
Griffin glanced around the empty space, blue eyes drifting over the buckets of paint and collection of tools lining the walls. “I’m not sure I have anywhere we can relax.” His eyes dropped to her mouth. “The only other furniture I have is my bed.”
She could definitely come up with worse places to be than Griffin’s bed, so Dianna stood up, struggling a little with the dismount as she slid free of his embrace. “Pie in bed sounds like heaven to me.”
Griffin snagged her hand, giving her a smirk that made it clear he was feeling less out of his element now that the bedroom had been mentioned. “You in my bed sounds like a good idea.”
She agreed, but probably not for the same reason.
Griffin was a very focused man, especially when clothing started to come off. But in all the times they’d messed around, she’d barely done more than look at his dick. Maybe tonight that needed to change. Maybe tonight she would be the one doing the distracting. The one with a singular focus.
Dianna helped Griffin collect their food, carrying it into the room he’d been living out of since moving into the house. She peeked into the kitchen as they passed, immediately becoming distracted by what was inside, proving she wasn’t going to be great at the singular focus thing.
“Oh my gosh.” Dianna immediately made a detour, walking into the large, open space. She’d never been in Vera’s house when the older woman owned it, so it was impossible to really grasp how much work Griffin had done, but based on the amount of exposed wires and pipes she saw, hopefully it had been a lot. “I didn’t realize there was a full line of windows looking out over the backyard in this room too.” She moved to the backmost wall, peering out into the darkness. “These are fantastic.”
She loved her little kitchen. Loved the quaintness of the small layout and the antique finishings. But it was barely a quarter of the size of Griffin’s kitchen, and it was impossible not to imagine how gorgeous a space like this could be.
“During the day they let a lot of natural light in, just like the ones in the office.” Griffin came to stand behind her, his eyes meeting hers in the reflection on the glass. “But they take away a whole wall’s worth of storage.”
Dianna gave the space another look, sizing up the few remaining cabinets collected in one corner. “You could put a bank of just lower cupboards here.” She motioned down the long wall. “That would be a huge amount of storage.” She could fit everything she owned in that many cabinets. “Plus, there would be a huge counter space where you could look outside while you worked.” It was easy to imagine standing at the counter, kneading bread dough or scooping cookies as the warm summer air filtered in through the windows.
“I thought we established that I don’t do much working in the kitchen.” Griffin tipped his head to the plates in his hands. “Unless you count turning on the microwave. I’m decent at that.”
Dianna turned away from the line of windows, shoving the image they’d inspired to one side. “There’s always time to learn.” She moved out of the kitchen and into the small hall that ran between it and the large room Griffin used as his bedroom. She paused to peek inside the door spaced between them.
“That’s a half-bath.” Griffin was close behind her, following but not rushing. “My best guess is that it was originally a butler’s pantry someone repurposed.”
“A butler’s pantry sounds amazing, but I can understand the desire to have a bathroom on the main level.” She knew Vera’s house wasn’t in the best condition, but it was somewhat surprising to discover it was updated more recently than her little cottage. “It’s a shame all the cabinets are gone though.”
“I’m just glad most of the hardwood was intact and a few of the original kitchen cabinets were left.” Griffin moved into the bedroom, setting both plates onto the foot of the bed. “I’ve tried to salvage anything I can, but over the years this place has seen a lot of changes.”
Dianna sat down with a sigh. “Haven’t we all.” She wasn’t exactly trying to circle back to the kind of conversations Griffin struggled to have, but she also didn’t want to build something superficial and purely based on physical attraction.
Because good sex simply wasn’t enough for her.
She’d made herself a promise, and if Griffin wanted to be around her, which it seemed like he did, he would have to be a part of that promise. It wouldn’t be easy since she was still new at voicing her opinions and recognizing her value, but it was the only way this could happen.
Whatever this was.
Griffin slowly lowered to the bed beside her, feet on the floor, hands loosely clasped between his knees as he leaned forward, taking a deep breath. “How have you changed?”
