Page 21 of No Going Back
It seemed to be the story of her life since moving to Moss Creek, but for the first time it was really working out in her favor. Being busy meant she didn’t have time to sit and dwell on how easy it obviously was for Griffin to walk away from something and never look back.
It was technically what she’d claimed to want. She’d been the one to call what happened between them a mistake. The one to tell him to go.
But what sheshouldwant and what sheactuallywanted were turning out to be two very different things.
She expected to be farther along in her recovery from an emotionally and occasionally physically abusive relationship, but putting all that behind her was turning out to be more difficult than she anticipated. It was why she had to tell Griffin to go. It wouldn’t be fair to shove all her issues to one side and bring another person into her mess. Not to the other person, and certainly not to her.
But it still stung a little bit that Griffin hadn’t at least come in to buy a cup of coffee. Maybe a scone. Hell, even just a walk past the window and a wave would be better than his complete disappearance.
“It’s a shame you’re so busy. Doesn’t give you much time for socializing.” There was something different in Cooper’s tone. Something she almost wanted to identify as interest.
But Cooper was at least five years younger than she was and exceedingly good looking. Certainly he wouldn’t be interested in her. She was creeping close to forty and was what her mother considered pleasantly plump.
A sudden realization made her stop. Made her think.
Maybe she’d missed something. Maybe she’d been putting blame in one place when it really belonged in two. Maybe it wasn’t just Martin’s words that tried to control her sense of self. Maybe this went back farther than she realized.
Maybe the reason she was struggling to overcome the negative words dominating her brain was because they’d always been there. First fed to her by the person who was supposed to love her more than all others.
But that didn’t make them less wrong.
One person’s pleasantly plump might be another’s curvaceous goddess. It was all about perspective, and her perspective clearly needed to change. Yet another reason she should be thrilled Griffin walked away from her.
But she didn’t always want to be single, and today’s light bulb moment made her feel one step closer to being whole again. One step closer to finally being able to move forward.
Dianna sucked in a breath, giving the handsome police officer her best smile. “Maybe someday soon I’ll have a little more spare time for socializing.”
She held her breath, waiting to see what Cooper would say next. Hoping she wasn’t reading this completely wrong because it might give a little more weight, no pun intended, to the words and opinions she’d allowed to lead her life for so long.
Cooper reached into the front pocket of his vest, pulling a business card free and holding it out. “Give me a call when that happens. I’d love to have the opportunity to occupy some of that spare time.”
Dianna took the card, a giddiness that was difficult to contain bubbling up. “Okay.” It wasn’t the most eloquent or flirtatious of responses, but she wasn’t the most eloquent or flirtatious of women.
Maybe that could change too.
Cooper reached out to tap the roof of her car, his smile wider than she’d ever seen it. “You take care, Miss Dianna.” He stepped back, giving her room. “Hopefully I hear from you soon.”
Dianna held up the card, making it clear she had the ability to contact him as she rolled up her window and then backed the rest of the way down her short drive. Cooper watched her go, giving her a single wave as she pulled away, excitement still fluttering in her belly.
Not necessarily because Cooper wanted to take her out, although hearing he was interested did give her cracked and fragile ego a little boost. What had her feeling hopeful had more to do with the revelation Cooper’s subtle invitation spurred.
She’d kicked Martin out of her life. Legally, physically, financially.
But part of him still lingered, tainting this new start she was trying to forge. And that was because it wasn’t just Martin who led to her floundering self-confidence. It was someone who’d influenced her since the first breath she took.
Her mother.
And while the intentions were completely different, the words were strikingly similar, always cloaked and twisted in a way that made them more palatable.
But still just as damaging.
And it was time for them to stop.
Dianna sucked in a breath, gripping the wheel as she drove, feeding herself a new set of words. Ones she chose.
Ones she might believe if she said them enough.
She wasn’t chubby. She was gloriously curvy.
