Page 31 of Freestyle
Stay in the moment.
But how can I when every thought I shove aside only brings her back stronger, brighter, closer?
“Take your marks,” the announcer’s voice booms, snapping me to the present. I crouch, muscles coiled like a spring, ready to launch.
The horn blares, and I throw myself into the water, the cool shock enveloping me as I glide forward. Stroke after stroke, I try to drown out the thoughts clawing at the edges of my mind, focusing instead on the rhythm, the power, the race. For a moment, it works. The water is my world—silent, steady, and free of distractions.
But then her face creeps in, unbidden. The way her lips curl into that infuriating, knowing smile. The way her gaze lingers, teasing and taunting, as though she knows exactly how to get under my skin. My strokes falter, just slightly, and I grit my teeth, forcing myself to push harder. She’s not even here, and still, she’s winning.
And I hate her for it.
I hit the wall and push off for my turn, but my mind refuses to stay in the race.Where is she right now?Probably somewhere laughing, completely unaware of the chaos she’sleft behind. The thought burns hotter than the ache in my legs or the fire in my lungs. I want to shake her, to demand why she’s done this to me, why she’s planted herself so firmly in my mind when I never invited her in.
The final stretch comes too soon, and I give it everything, desperation driving me as much as anger. When I hit the wall and surface, gasping, the scoreboard slaps me with the cold truth. I didn’t win.I didn’t even place.
The crowd’s cheers are distant and hollow as I haul myself out of the pool, water streaming from my skin. My chest heaves, my arms tremble, but it’s not just the physical strain that’s wrecked me. It’sher—her absence, her presence in my thoughts, her power over me even when she’s nowhere to be found.
I grab my towel and collapse onto the bench, head in my hands. The failure stings, sharp and unforgiving, but it’s nothing compared to the fury building inside me. She’s everywhere, haunting me, distracting me, making me weaker than I’ve ever allowed myself to be.
Fine.
If she wants to live rent-free in my head, I’ll make sure she knows what it costs. This isn’t over—not by a long shot.
“Fuck!”I yell, slamming my fist into the cold metal locker. The dull thud reverberates through the empty locker room, a hollow echo that does nothing to ease the tight coil of frustration in my chest. The sting shoots up my knuckles, sharp and grounding, but it’s not enough to drown out the storm raging in my head.
Gray stands abruptly from the bench, his brow furrowed as surprise flickers across his face before it’s replaced with concern. “Dude, chill. What’s your problem?” His voice is steady, calm, but his hand shoots out to grab my arm, firm, unyielding. The grip isn’t harsh, but it’s a reminder; I’m not alone, even if it feels like it.
The weight of his gaze pins me down, but I can’t meet his eyes. I shrug him off and sink onto the bench beside him, my shoulders sagging under the weight of my thoughts. “It’s been months since I sunk my cock so far up Rowyn’s cunt, and it’s tearing me up. I lost my fucking heat because I couldn’t get her out of my head,” I mutter, the words rough and bitter on my tongue. “I’m so fucking twisted up.”
“There’s always a girl willing to suck you off. You’re fucking Phoenix Huntington,” he chuckles, but it falls flat. I fling the towel he throws at me back at him, my frustration boiling over.
“That’s notgood enough anymore,” I hiss, my fists clenching. The silence stretches between us, thick with unspoken words, until Gray finally speaks.
I can feel him watching me, the silence heavy between us. I brace myself for the inevitable lecture about patience, about keeping my cool, but it doesn’t come. Instead, he sits back down and leans his elbows on his knees. He rubs the stubble along his jaw, his gaze distant.
“I get it, man. Every time I see her, this anger wrenches my gut. When that bastard had his hands on her last night, I wanted to kill him.”
My fists clench at the memory and I nod, a dark smile creeping onto my lips. “Yeah, that’s why I went in swinging. But that’s not what’s bothering me. I know it started as just a one night thing, but fuck, I need more.” I turn to face him, the pain in my chest tightening. “I want her in our bed. I want to feel her skin against mine. I want to make her scream my name. I want her to be ours. It’s like this unbearable need, and I can’t fucking stand it. She wants nothing to do with us, and it makes me want to bend her over and fuck her so hard she doesn’t know where I start and you end.”
Gray nods, his expression mirroring the ache in my chest. I lean forward, focusing on the simple, mechanical task of tying my sneakers. The laces feel rough between my fingers, the tight loops pulling together like I wish I could pull myselftogether. My stomach churns as memories push their way to the surface, unbidden, unwanted, haunting.
The truth is, I can’t shake the thought of Rowyn. She’s woven into every breath I take, an addiction I can’t help but crave. “It’s like she’s in my veins. I need her like a junkie needs their next fix, and I fucking hate it.”
Gray’s voice cuts through the fog of my thoughts, bringing me back to the present. “It’s like a fucking sickness.”
I glance up, meeting his gaze. “You feel the same way?”
He nods, his jaw tightening. “Unfortunately. Ever since that night, I can’t get the little blonde out of my head.”
“I thought it was just me,” I mutter, rubbing the back of my neck, shame and desperation mixing within me.
Gray’s expression softens, understanding flashing across his features. “Nope. The summer was hell, being under the same roof. What was supposed to be just a night turned into this—us wanting more. We’ve tried others, but they’re not right. Rowyn was the perfect match for us.”
Gripping my knees tight, determination replaces despair. “We’re getting her. I don’t give a fuck anymore. Shewillbe ours.” My voice drops, low and fierce, my gaze locked on Gray. “We will do whatever it takes to make sure of that. Even if we have to break her.”
As my mind races with possibilities, my jaw clenches, my resolve hardening. “She won’t get away from us again,” I state firmly, my determination unwavering.
I can feel the tension in the air as Gray nods in agreement, his own eyes blazing with purpose. “No matter what it takes.”
