Page 9 of Beneath Submission
~Six~
When I got back to the house, after telling Xavier that it was better that he left, I couldn’t help but think about him and wonder if I had made the right decision by telling him that I needed time to think. At least I had enough will power to do that. It was the hardest thing to do, especially when he gently kissed me on the forehead and accepted my wish by letting me know that no matter how long it took, he would be waiting for me.
Seeking out my father, I needed someone to talk to that I could trust. Even though we had just begun to know each other, he was the one person I felt comfortable in confiding in. I knew that my father would be honest with me and guide me in doing the right thing. When I ran into Agnes and asked where he was, she thought that he might have been in the sitting room. Heading that way, I thanked her and proceeded to find him.
Sitting in a leather chair, my father was having his usual glass of vodka while reading the LA Times. It was funny how normal he looked in his chair, without a care in the world, given what had happened over the past weeks. Matter of fact, it was the most relaxed that I had seen him since we first met.
As I took a seat on the couch beside his chair, he lowered the newspaper and moved his eyes towards me. Folding it in half, he placed it on the coffee table and said inquisitively, “You look like you have something on your mind.”
He couldn’t have been righter. Adjusting my position to make myself more comfortable, I said, “Papa, I need to ask you something. Well… more like I need your advice.
“Anything for you, myshka,” he responded fondly.
“I don’t know what to do. My heart is telling me to forgive Xavier for not telling me the truth about his past, but my head is telling me that he is going to end up hurting me again.”
There was a slight smile on my father’s face when he rose from his chair and took a seat beside me. Leaning over, he kissed the top of my head and said, “Only you will know what is best for you. I can only tell you what I think.”
“And what do you think?” I asked.
“I think that everyone makes mistakes, and God knows that even I have made more than my share. One thing that you have to decide is how much Xavier really means to you and whether you would be happier with him or without him. I see the way you two look at each other, even now. He loves you, Tessa, that is a given, and I think you love him too.”
My father knew me better than I knew myself. I did love Xavier, more than any man I have ever loved. Actually, he was the only man that I have ever loved. Kissing my father on the cheek, I gave him a hug and said gratefully, “Thank you, Papa.”
When I got to my room, I got ready for bed. I knew that it was going to be a long night, especially since there was so much that I needed to think about. Removing my clothes and slipping on a silky nightgown, I finished my nightly routine and made myself comfortable under the soft covers. Staring at my phone, I kept going back and forth, contemplating whether or not to call Xavier. I told him that I needed time. In order to stick to my word, I placed my phone face down on my nightstand.
As I shut my eyes, letting the darkness consume me, the sound of my phone vibrating one time let me know that a message had come in. Giving up my willpower, I picked it up and turned it over. Touching the red message box, I brought up the messages to find the Xavier had messaged me. Only a few words came up, ‘Please don’t ever forget about me…’I could never forget about him and because of that, I opened the message.
Please don’t ever forget about me and how much we have shared together. All I ever wanted was to protect you and love you. I hope and pray that you will come back to me.
My finger tapped the message box, but I was unable to respond. As much as I wanted to tell him that everything would be okay, my heart still hurt. I remembered what my father said about everyone making mistakes. Even I had made a few of my own. Hovering over the message box, my fingers began going to work.
Xavier, I want you to know how much you hurt me. My heart broke into a million pieces when I found out you weren’t who you said you were…
Pausing for a moment, I thought really hard about what I was about to do. I did love him and couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. Taking a deep breath, I continued.
I also believe that people deserve a second chance. I am going to take a leap and give you that second chance.
When he responded back, I slowly read his reply.Never again will I keep things from you. You are my world and mean everything to me. I promise you won’t regret your decision. I love you, Tessa.
I didn’t reply to his text only because his words left me speechless. Placing my phone on the nightstand, I laid back on the bed, grasping the pillow next to me and squeezing it against my chest. I wasn’t sure if my heart was filled with joy in giving him another chance or regret for letting him back in.
~*~*~*~
Never had I slept as well as I did. With everything that had happened over the past week, I felt like I could finally relax. Mr. Colin was in jail and things with Xavier and I would, with time, be back to what they had been.
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I found the music app on my phone and turned up the volume. It had been a long time since I had any desire to listen to any kind of music, but last night changed all that. Moving my hips to sound of “The Weekend,” I danced my way over to the bathroom where I began brushing my teeth. Watching myself in the mirror, I saw something that I hadn’t seen for a while. Happiness. It was strange, wonderful feeling after having years of sadness with no will to do anything. It was all because of Xavier that I felt this way.
Turning on the water to the shower, I made a promise to myself. I was going to make this thing between us work. No regrets. Xavier would keep his word, I was sure of it. Since fair was fair, I thought that was only right that I tell him the truth about my life with Mr. Colin and the many things he made me do. I didn’t want to keep things from him either.
Showered and dressed, I was heading down the stairs when I heard voices coming from the sitting room. Needing to know what was going on, I entered the room to find that my father and Xavier were having a heated conversation. By the look on their faces, something was up, and it didn’t appear to be good. Taking a chance that they would tell me, I asked, “What is it? Both of you look way too serious for it to be anything good.”
Xavier walked over to where I was standing, taking my hands in his. “It might be better if you took a seat,” he expressed thoughtfully, as though it would make a difference in what he had to say.
“Please, just tell me what it is,” I demanded, looking between Xavier and my father.
When there was only silence, a lot longer than I wanted, my words were even more commanding, “Dammit, tell me what is going on. I am not a child. I can take whatever you have to say.”
“Sweetheart, please calm down. There is no easy way to say this, but Colin Gates has been released,” my father stated hesitantly.
“What do you mean ‘released?’” I questioned loudly, emphasizing ‘released’ as I held up the hand using the sign for quotation marks.
“There was some technicality in the arrest and he was released, and the charges were dropped,” he explained.
Looking at Xavier, I asked nervously, “Is this true, Xavier?”
“I’m afraid so. Colin told the DA that he had been set up and felt that his life was in danger. There was testimony from some of his guests stating that Colin was in fear for his life and he felt additional security was necessary. He lied and said that even some of his team turned on him.” As Xavier explained, I could tell that he was sickened by the news more than I.
“This can’t be happening,” I stated, pacing back and forth, searching for a reason why.
Xavier walked up to me, gathering me in his arms to stop my erratic movements. “Tessa, there is no way I will let anything happen to you. He will never lay another hand on you again.”
