Page 1 of Beneath Submission
Prologue
I had always wished that I knew more about my past other than what Mr. Colin had told me. If it hadn’t been for him, I might have ended up in foster care. Losing my parents at a very young age could have gone in a different direction if hadn’t it been for him. My life as it was, wasn’t so bad. As long as I did what I was told, he never punished me. If I never questioned Mr. Colin’s intent, I would be rewarded. My childhood was much different than other children, that I knew. I wasn’t allowed to play with dolls or dress up and have make believe tea parties like little girls should have. Instead, “discipline” was more important according to Mr. Colin, and if I wanted to make something of myself, I needed to focus on only that and nothing more.
I wasn’t sure how keeping my eyes lowered when spoken to or crossing my hands over my lap when sitting or kneeling was ever going to help me get ahead, but I didn’t dare question it. It had to have been the “discipline” that Mr. Colin was trying to teach me.
Looking back at my childhood, it really wasn’t so bad. I always had a warm bed and a roof over my head and the clothes that I was dressed in were always the best. About the only thing that was bad about living with Mr. Colin was the training he had put me through to prepare me for his meetings. At least that was what he called them. It only took one time of questioning him about them to know that I would end up getting punished if I ever questioned him again.
While most girls were in school learning and enjoying the interaction with classmates, my time was spent learning the disciplines needed to receive top dollar for my services. Mr. Colin was always happy when a client offered more than the going rate. Sometimes when that happened, he would even do something extra special for me. I always loved leaving the large house to go to the park or out for an ice cream because I pleased him. Although it didn’t happen very often, I savored every moment by taking in the sights and learning everything about the park by asking a lot of questions. Sometimes Mr. Colin would get annoyed with me, so I had to stop. I knew that if I didn’t I would be going back to the house and I would be confined to my room. He hated it when I asked too many questions, especially when it had to do with my parents.
I shouldn’t complain and should feel grateful, as Mr. Colin always stated. There were far more children who weren’t as fortunate as me. He was right as always. At least I was thankful that most of the men were nice enough, even though they were twice my age. As long as I did what they said, Mr. Colin would reward me with nice things. But if ever I refused, I knew it wouldn’t end well. Being raised in this lifestyle was all I knew. I wondered how it would be if my mom was still alive. There were so many things that I would have liked to know that only she would be able to share. Such things as how it felt to be truly in love and what the butterflies in your stomach meant. Or why the first time was always the hardest and why it was very painful and caused discomfort days later.
When I was introduced into this lifestyle I realized there were so many things that Mr. Colin didn’t understand, especially what I felt like each time I serviced a client or how each time made me lose more and more of myself. It didn’t take long before everything around me became non-existent. It was then that I created an imaginary happy place that I could escape too. It was the only place where I felt free and happy.
Even though I knew my special place would never exist for me in real life, it was still the one piece of happiness that I had. All that I ever wanted was to be in love and have a life filled with love and happiness. Something that I always dreamt of. Maybe someday my day would come. Maybe someday, my knight in shining armor would come to rescue me and love me for who I was instead of the amount of money I could make.Maybe someday.
