Page 54 of King of Malice
“You’re okay?” she asks back.
“I’m fine, Cade. I’ll be fine…” My throat closes and I press my forehead against Dimitri’s neck, my eyes squeezing closed. “I wish you the best.”
“Ava,” she says in a rush of air. “Don’t say it like that. Like you don’t want me anymore.”
“I think it’s you who doesn’t want me, Cadence. And that’s all right. I want you to be happy. I always have.”
“Shit,” she mutters. “It has nothing to do with you. Yes, you need to get out there and take some risks and really live life, but I’m the one who has been dragging you down. You just didn’t see it. And I’m trying to get right so that I can be the friend you need instead of the selfish black hole who sucks up all your resources.”
She draws in a desperate, unsteady breath, before she speaks again. “I knew if I said that to you, you’d tell me I wasn’t, and that you didn’t mind helping me. But you should, Ava. You’re way better to me than I deserve. Sometimes I seem angry because, I know I’m not just fucking up my life but yours too.”
Tears start leaking down my cheeks. “I’d go to hell for you, Cadence. You’re not a black hole. You’re not fucking up my life. You’re my family. The only person who has ever protected me in this crazy ass world. I’ve always needed you as much or more than you needed me.”
“Shit,” she chokes on her own tears. “I messed this up again, didn’t I?”
“It’s fine. I forgive you. Do what you need to do, and then, maybe we can go to couples counseling or something.”
For a moment there is a pause and then she bursts out laughing. “For real?”
“I went to one. A counselor. You were right. Five minutes in and I ended up on the floor with a panic attack. I clearly need some help. I’m going to go back. Try to solve these intimacy issues I’m carrying…”
“Ava,” Cadence gasps. “Were you telling her about Hank?”
“You know I don’t like saying his name.”
“I should have stabbed that fucker seven more times.”
“That’s enough,” a man rumbles in the background. “I can hear you getting worked up.”
“This is different, Zane. I’m allowed to be violent when someone I love is being attacked.”
My limbs turn to jelly. “I love you too.”
“I’m glad we talked,” she whispers. “I don’t know how you managed to get me on the phone with all the rules.”
“It’s a long story but the juicy part is that I started dating.” Dimitri finally lowers my feet to the floor, my body sliding down his. I smile into Dimitri’s chest.
Cadence pauses. “Shut up.”
“Yep. Can’t wait to tell you.”
“Same. Same. We’ll talk in a week when I’m back.” There is a pause. Part of me, even now, doesn’t want to hang up the phone, can’t let her go again.
But it’s time I stopped hanging on so tightly. “Bye, Cadence. Good luck. I love you.”
“You too, Ava. Sleep tight.”
I smile, remembering the words we’d whisper to each other because we didn’t have a mother to say them. I want to say more, but instead I hang up the phone.
Dimitri holds me tightly, not saying a word. I let the silence fill the space between us, so glad for the comfort of his arms.
I’d like to be mad at Cadence, but her leaving was the push I needed to find myself here. “I think I might be in love with you.”
His hands spread out on my back. “Good.”
“Good?” I lift my face to look up at him. “That’s it?”
“No. But it would be awkward to be married to me if you weren’t. I tried that once, it doesn’t work all that well.”
