Page 14 of A Clutch for Hutch
“We didn’t know it at the time, but we were. And now that we’ve found you, the house is just a building. Would I love to share it with you for the rest of our lives? Absolutely. But would I love to share your home here with you for the rest of our lives? Absolutely. Because the thing is, as long as I’m with you, I’m home.”
He stuck out his lip in a faux pout. “You’re not making this easy. You’re supposed to tell me what to do.”
“Do you really want a mate who tells you what to do?”
He shook his head. “No…but I really want some answers.”
“Okay, here’s my two cents. There’s something you love to do in this world—something you’re good at, something that makes you happy. Giving that up because you feel you’re your responsibility… I don’t know, but it doesn’t feel good to me.” If he had a regular job, one that was a paycheck, it would be different. Writing was his passion…so much more than a job.
“But I didn’t grow up like you did. I didn’t have a fluffle or a flight, so I don’t understand the connection to your fluffle. So if you decide you want this, I’m not going to stop you. I’m gonna be your number-one cheerleader.”
“You—I don’t want this.” He let out a long sigh. “I don’t want to make my dad upset or the fluffle, but I don’t want this. I want to live with you in that house, maybe add some more additions on the back or the side just because we can, and fill that ridiculously large greenhouse with all sorts of herbs and flowers and tomatoes…so many tomatoes, and I want to raise our children there. But I feel selfish.”
“Mate, you have one life, and that one life is one that you should live the way you want to. That’s not selfish. That’s self-care.”
He buried his face in my chest. “You sound like one of those self-help gurus.”
“I probably stole it from one of them. But really—it’s not selfish, I promise. And they’ll understand. And if they don’t? Blame me. I don’t mind.”
“I could never blame you. Unless it’s for my happiness. Then it’s 100 percent your fault.”
“I gladly accept the responsibility…100 percent.”
Chapter Thirteen
Dirk
This whole trip was an emotional roller coaster. My father had listened to our first explanation with much more patience than I’d ever expected. We were putting him in an awful position, facing the fluffle with no heir. He must be regretting he didn’t have any more sons than us. Neither of us was born to be the fluffle alpha, but we still didn’t have another solution. My mate would stay with me here if necessary, but he didn’t think it was where I belonged. He wanted me to be able to write books and live my dreams, which would be very hard with a job like alpha that meant being on call nearly all the time.
I waited in Father’s office nervously, for about fifteen minutes. He was dealing with a fluffle matter, and would be with me as soon as possible, according to his beta who gave me an odd look. Finally, when I was ready to jump out of my skin, the door opened, and Father entered, followed by a male who looked vaguely familiar.
I stood, as one did when the fluffle alpha entered, even if he was your father. And acting in that role. “Hello, Father.”
“Son. Do you remember Erwin? Your cousin who visited once many years ago with his parents?”
“No, wait, yes. We all went to the lake, right? Had a cookout and swam. Nice to see you again, Cousin.”
“Erwin, you may also remember, is your uncle Trey’s second son. His first is going to take his position as alpha, but he’s always thought Erwin had leadership qualities.”
I saw where this was going, and it was taking my nerves with it. “I see.”
“Son, from our previous conversation, you led me to believe you would prefer to pursue your other interests to being alpha. Is that still your desire?”
“Yes, Father, but not if it puts you in danger of a challenge.” He was going to have to come out and say it. I could not assume, no matter how much I wanted it to be true.
“Erwin is not only acceptable to the fluffle, but he is willing to take on the role and has always trained for the position just in case he was needed.”
“Really?” I wondered if Father thought he should have done the same with me. Not that it would have mattered at this point, but maybe if I’d had the opportunity to learn all along, I’d have liked the idea better. We’d never know. “That sounds like a good solution. I don’t like to disappoint you, Father.”
“You aren’t. I have realized that I was forcing you into a mold not meant for you. So, as long as you don’t feel as if he’s taking your heritage, I will appoint Erwin alpha when the day comes, and you can either stay here or return to your mate’s home. In either case, you would be pursuing your own career choice.”
I had totally forgotten about these cousins from that one visit when I was seven or eight. But from the way Erwin beamed, this opportunity was making his dreams come true. Life just didn’t work out this perfectly, did it?
Maybe when Fate stepped in, it did.
I held out my hand and shook Erwin’s. “Thank you for stepping in to help us.”
“Your father says you’re an author. He’s very proud of you. I hope I can read something you’ve written someday.”
