Page 51 of The Rules of Courtship
She could not honestly enter into any marriage agreement lacking a proclamation of love.
Oliver deserved more than to be shackled to her merely because he fancied a kiss in a moonlit garden. Even if she imagined she had heard him say…but never mind that. When she had given him an opportunity to admit aloud the thing she had believed he muttered, he was resolutely silent. It had likely been a surge of emotion from the kiss. If he had meant it, he would have said it boldly.
Weariness overcame her. She looked at her stepmother. “I feel a bit peaked.”
“I imagine so,” Lady Helena said, a touch too dry. “I will take you upstairs. Good night, darling,” she said to Oliver, pressing her hand to his arm before taking Ruth from his grip.
Oliver was silent, though he seemed reluctant to watch Ruth leave. Perhaps he wanted to discuss this as much as she did.
“Ride tomorrow?” he asked, his green eyes searching her face.
“The stables are closed,” she reminded him—a response Lord Rocklin had made to Mr. Edmonds’s injury.
Lady Helena pulled her away, a chorus of congratulations and good nights following her from the room. She felt the heavinessof Oliver’s gaze tracking her departure. The skin on the back of her neck prickled from the memories of his hands on her skin, his fingers sliding over her face, his lips on hers. She wanted to return to the garden and continue the interlude without being interrupted.
Ruth nearly tripped on the stairs. She lifted her hem and kept her gaze forward. They were silent while they walked together, but her thoughts were swimming. Did she come out with the truth immediately or wait to see how Lady Helena reacted first? Somehow she felt sixteen again, being chastened for sneaking to Eliza’s house without a chaperone. She had provided Lady Helena with the excuse of going to sleep and had later been found kissing Oliver in the garden. However badly it looked, the reality was not as deceitful. At least she had not set out to find Oliver and kiss him. But she was not innocent all the same.
Once they reached the bedroom door, Lady Helena opened it and stepped inside. The conversation was happening tonight, it seemed.
They flanked the low-burning fire in the hearth, facing one another. “Engaged?” Lady Helena asked.
“Yes, evidently.” Ruth turned away and sat on the bed, dropping her face in her hands. “It cannot…I do not…” She groaned, pressing her fingers to her eyes and wishing the blackness would swallow her whole.
Lady Helena sat beside her, soothing her with a soft hand to her back. “Tonight has been…well, a good deal surprising to all of us. I am convinced this turn of events is no less shocking for you than it is for me. Do not concern yourself with the future just yet, Ruth. Do your best to sleep, and we will face it in the morning.”
Ruth lowered her hands, the tears gathering in her eyes threatening to spill over. She had what she wanted—Oliver. And yet, he was not hers. When she found a way to free him,she would be putting her family name in jeopardy and submitting the people she loved most to censure and ridicule. It was not a foreign concept to any of the Wycliffes. They had witnessed this very thing occur when Eliza’s sister was ruined a few years ago—Eliza’s prospects had been ruined in consequence, her family had ceased receiving invitations, and they were given the cut by people who had been their friends.
Ruth and her parents had stood by them throughout all of that. She knew well what she faced, and just thinking about it was utterly exhausting.
“I’ve long wondered if this was the case,” Lady Helena continued, “but neither of you gave any indication this was what lay in store for your future. Do you love him, Ruth?”
What else could she say but the truth? “I do.”
Lady Helena’s smile softened, her eyes glowing. “Then this is good news, even if it came about a bit more rushed than you would have liked. Your father will be thrilled.”
Thrilled? Ah, of course. Because he wanted her married. He would be far less happy once he learned of her plans to break the engagement, of course.
“I’ll let you sleep,” Lady Helena said, rising. “Mrs. Hull informed us of Mr. Edmonds’s progress after you left the drawing room. Fortunately, his waking is a good sign, but as with all head injuries, we will not know much about the state of his health until more time has passed.”
“That poor man. His sister must be distraught.”
Lady Helena agreed. “She has not left his side since he woke. It will surprise me if we are to remain beyond another day, Ruth.”
She nodded, understanding. They could not very well dance and laugh when a man lay ill and injured upstairs.
The real trouble was in deciding what to do once they returned to Harewood, and how quickly she ought to break theengagement. She cared about Oliver far too much to allow him to sacrifice himself only to avoid a scandal.
Lady Helena had been correct.When everyone was gathered in the parlor after breakfast the following morning, Lord Rocklin announced that out of respect for the Edmonds, the house party would be disbanded early. Ruth joined Catherine on the sofa, noting the woman’s frown.
“It is a shame we did not reach the musicale night,” Ruth said. “I was looking forward to hearing you play.”
Catherine glanced up, her golden curls bouncing. “I do not wish to sound insensitive, but I am exceedingly put out.” She sighed. “Though I know it cannot be helped.”
“There is no shame in your disappointment,” Ruth said. “Perhaps we will meet again soon. There are assemblies in Locksley in a few weeks’ time. Have you ever attended them?”
Catherine took her wrist in both hands. “Oh, Ruth. How kind of you to invite me! I will need a chaperone, of course, but I am certain Mrs. Watson could be persuaded to accompany me if my father wishes not to.”
Ruth’s smile froze on her mouth. She looked up, finding Lady Helena listening in with amusement. Well, it was done now. She could not very well suggest decent lodgings in Locksley at this point, could she?
