Page 50 of Last One Standing
I’d realizedKona hadn’t taken his pills, and I didn’t want him to be in pain while he slept. As I’d ascended the stairs, it had hit me how much Kona kept it together for Pika, just as I’d done for my brothers after my parents and sister were killed. I’d needed to crack open, and it had taken me so long to do so. Only once I’d done that had I been I able to heal. Kona needed that.
“The Baris family, that’s what was written on the entryway of the living room of their house. They adopted me, Gabe, Shep, Nick, Noel, and Scarlett. We were a big family and for a year, we were a happy one. Our parents were killed and Scarlett was kidnapped, raped, and murdered by a group of rich, powerful, evil people. She was only sixteen.”
Kona gasped.
“Me and my brothers changed our name to Saint, tracked every single one of them down, and for years, on Christmas Eve, we killed until they were all gone.”
“Why Christmas Eve?” he asked.
“That’s when they murdered Scarlett.” I closed my eyes, trying to wash away the image of her battered body.
“It’s okay, Angel, you don’t have to tell me more.” Kona had sat up and was resting his hand atop mine.
“No, I do.” I swallowed loudly. “We were all consumed by rage for a while, but one night I heard crying. Nick was sitting outside, and in his hand was a family photo of all of us on adoption day. He fell apart. After that, Noel did. Then Shep and Gabe.”
“But not you.”
“Not for a long time. They were shattering in front of me, and I worried they would be lost in their grief and not see danger coming, so I stayed vigilant. I closed the safe door on my emotions and let my brothers crumble.”
“Not very healthy.”
I looked into Kona’s sweet eyes. “No, it’s not.”
“What happened then?”
“I was alone one night. It was years later. My brothers were off doing something—I can’t remember what. I was sitting in my bedroom. I turned on the TV, andThe Golden Girlscame on. A prickle of sadness was working overtime to wheedle its way through the sealed door because Scarlett, my parents, all of us loved that show, but I hadn’t watched it since they died. I avoided it at all costs.”
“It’s a great show.” He smiled softly.
“I tried to hit the button and change it, but I couldn’t. For the first time, I swore I felt them with me, hugging me, telling me to let go. Begging me.”
“Did you?”
“Like a dam broke. I sobbed for hours. It was so bad I stayed in my room the next day, telling my brothers I was sick so they wouldn’t see my swollen eyes.” I chuckled.
“How’d you feel after that?”
“Relieved.”
Kona’s brows pinched. “Relieved?”
“Before that moment, I didn’t think I’d really ever feel anything ever again. I loved my brothers, so I stayed strong forthem. I convinced myself that was what my purpose was. When I finally grieved, I ripped off the Band-Aid so the wound could truly heal properly.”
Kona pursed his lips. “And you think I need to.”
“I know you do, Kona.” I flipped my hand and entwined our fingers. “You’re safe to do it now. I’ll watch over you, and so will my brothers. You can start the process of mourning all you’ve lost. You’ll never be able to move forward, not truly, until you do.”
“Angel,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry about your sister and parents. That’s horrific, I can’t think of a word that truly encompasses what happened to them.”
“Thank you.”
“I…” He sighed and blinked. “I wouldn’t even know how to crack open the shell around me.”
I nodded. “Talk about her. Talk about Leo.”
“To you?”
Shit. Was I making it seem like he had to confide in me? “Uh…”
