Page 87 of Breakaway Goals
“Well, that’s just depressing.” Jacob nudged Morgan with his shoulder.
“You don’t know anything about it,” Morgan said. He’d thought he’d sound prickly and defensive, but instead it came out sad and miserable.
“Then tell me,” Jacob said persuasively.
“I . . .I don’t know,” Morgan said. How could he tell Jacob about any of the details without Jacob guessing who it was?
“You worried I’m going to tell Finn?”
“If you were going to tell Finn, you’d have already done it.”
Jacob nodded. “We’re friends, Mo. You know that, even when you try to deny it. And itdoeshelp to talk it out.”
“It’s been over for a long time. I should be over it. But I’m . . .I’m not.” It was hard to admit that, and he’d imagined when he came down to Florida that it was natural for some of thefeelings to rise to the surface. But it was even worse than Morgan had anticipated.
“You really cared about this guy.”
Morgan had to give Jacob credit. He did not sayGod, Morgan, I’m so shocked you were even capable of it.
Sometimes Jacob could be a good guy, and sometimes, even, Jacob could be a good guy about things that were not related to Finn.
“Yeah.” Morgan swallowed the rest of his beer. “I loved him. ’Course I didn’t really realize that at the time. No. Actually. That’s a lie. I knew I . . .I knew I did. I knew if I let myself, I’d pick him over hockey. And so I . . .” Morgan nearly slipped and said,and so I left, but that was too close to the truth. “So I ended it, before I could fuck up the end of my career.”
“Some of us manage to have hockey careersanda relationship,” Jacob said, but his voice was kind. Probably kinder than Morgan deserved. “You even did it.”
“Not well,” Morgan said. He knew what an asshole thing it was to say,but those were other players and I’m Morgan Reynolds.But that was the truth.
Jacob shrugged. “So you dumped him. Let me guess, he hates you now.”
Morgan thought back to the bathroom, a week ago. The hardness in Hayes’ voice, in his green eyes, sharp like a cut emerald. “Yeah. I think so. And I can’t even be pissed about that. ’Cause I’m the one who fucked up. But then I ask myself, did I even fuck up? Would I go back and make a different decision? I don’t know. I got what I wanted.”
For a long moment, Jacob didn’t say anything, just looked at Morgan. Like he was really seeing him. Even all the ugly parts Morgan usually tried to hide under bluster and cockiness. “Did you, though?” he finally asked.
Morgan sighed. That was the million dollar fucking question. “I don’t know.” He’d thought he had. But seeing Hayes again had pulled all the old wounds back open, and now he was full of doubts, again.
“Something to think about,” Jacob said, patting him on the shoulder reassuringly. “You could always tell him that.”
“Yeah, right,” Morgan said, barking out a laugh. If he got too close to Hayes, he’d chop his balls off.Deservedly.
“I’m just saying, it’s never too late to try to make something right. Look at us,” Jacob said.
“It’s not the same. But I did think about it . . .once. I thought maybe after I retired, things had changed enough, I really considered pulling some epic romantic shit. Showing up at his doorstep, telling him I wanted him. That I’d never stopped wanting him.”
Jacob’s jaw dropped. Like he’d never expectedepic romantic shitand Morgan Reynolds to exist in the same thought—and he’d be right. But Morgan had still been this close to doing it. He’d even bought the plane ticket. Had prepared a whole speech.
“Then what the fuck happened?” Jacob asked.
He’d been too late.
That had always probably been true, and regardless of who Hayes had been with, chances were he’d have slammed the door in Morgan’s face.
“He started dating someone. Or I found out he was dating someone. Pretty seriously. I wasn’t going to get in between that.” And Morgan hadn’t had any faith that if he threw his hat in the ring, Hayes would ever pick him. Maybe he was in love, but he was still Morgan Reynolds in love, and he wasn’t sure his ego would survive that kind of rejection.
“That really fucking sucks,” Jacob said.
It had. Morgan had crawled into bed and spent a solid week there, staring at the TV but not seeing a single image.
It hadn’t mattered that Hayes and his boyfriend broke up only a few months later. Morgan’s hope had died its final death that week and it wasn’t ever coming back.
