Page 111 of Breakaway Goals
Danny was going to tell him he’d used up the rest of his lifetime of luck on Hayes, and Morgan was going to tell him andbelieve it, that it was worth it. That Hayes was worth it, and if he’d had more, he’d have spent that luck, too.
“You just . . .I didn’t know if it was your kind of thing, but then you were so romantic before, saying all that stuff. I couldn’t even believe it was coming out of your mouth.” Hayes made a face and then buried his mouth in Morgan’s shoulder again. “Ignore me, I’m sex stupid. Maybe I’m just stupid.”
“No,” Morgan said. He pulled back a little, not letting Hayes hide from him. “Give me five. I’m gonna clean us up, and then we’re going to talk about this.”
“Do we have to?”
“Yes,” Morgan said firmly.
He didn’t want to leave either, but they were sweaty and covered in come and blood, too. Because apparently Morgan doubled as a caveman. Groaning under his breath, he finally pulled out and scrambled over the bed on the way to the bathroom.
Washed out his mouth. Did his own cleanup and then came back with a washcloth, not letting Hayes take it from him.
He’d made this mess, he’d clean it up.
When they were finally clean and tucked back in bed—and Morgan had insisted on finding some first aid cream and smearing it across his teeth marks on Hayes’ shoulder—Morgan said, “I know I was a shithead in Toronto.”
“Just in Toronto?” Hayes teased sleepily.
“Okay, not just in Toronto. After too, definitely. When I came to see you in New York, for sure.”
“I kicked you out, though.” Hayes nuzzled into Morgan’s shoulder.
“I was an ass before that,” Morgan muttered. They could spend the ten years going over every ass-like thing he’d done. The list was long. They might not ever exhaust it, but as long as he got this, it didn’t matter.
“When you stared at me like I didn’t even exist. Like you could see right through me, yeah,” Hayes said quietly. “Every time wefaced off that game, I thought I was going to die. Just crawl off the ice and hide forever.”
Shame and guilt choked Morgan. It was hard to say anything, but he needed to.He needed to. “It was the only way I could do it. The only way I could get through the game without, I don’t know . . .” Danny had said he might fall to his knees at center ice and propose gay marriage, with dogs and picket fences and late brunches. And maybe he’d been right. But that seemed like alotto say, when they were still trying to figure out exactly what this looked like. It was still fresh. Delicate. Newly repaired.
“Doing something crazy?”
“Yeah.” That sufficed. Hayesunderstood. Morgan took a deep breath. “Exactly.”
“That . . .that makes sense. I hated it at the time. Every time it happened after that, but I get it.”
“You don’t think you did it, but you did. After that game, you did it to me, too.”
“Thought I could give you a taste of your own medicine. But I didn’t mean it.” Hayes tucked his face into Morgan’s bicep. “Never meant it.”
“I didn’t either, angel.”
For a long moment Hayes was quiet, and Morgan thought maybe he’d fallen back asleep. Which would be perfectly okay with him. Falling asleep with Hayes in his arms would be the best thing that had happened to him in forever.
But then he said, so quietly Morgan barely heard it, “You were really going to come to Florida tell me you wanted me?”
“Had the trip booked. The speech rehearsed.”
“Whatwasthe speech?”
“Something along the lines ofI’m an asshole, but I’m your asshole,” Morgan said.
Hayes laughed, which had been exactly the idea. “Seriously?”
“It was something like what you heard tonight. Probably this was a little better. Had more time. Was more desperate.”
“I’m flattered.”
“You should be.”
