Page 109 of Breakaway Goals
Those days were long gone.
“When I’m about to finally fuck you again, angel.” Morgan leaned down, let his lips brush against Hayes’ ear, then his neck, drifting down towards his collarbone. Felt his shiver. “You want that?”
“Wanted that before,” Hayes murmured. “Lube’s in the drawer by the bed. There’s condoms, too, but . . .”
“But?” Morgan prompted, hearing the rough gravel in his own voice. They’d used condoms before. It hadn’t even occurred to him to think they didn’t have to.
But that had been a fling. Maybe neither of them knew exactly what shape this took now, but it was definitely not a fling.
“But I haven’t with anyone, not in a long time, and I’m on PrEP and I’ve been tested too, recently. Start of the season.” Hayes gazed up at him. “What about you?”
He’d had sex exactly twice since Hayes.
Once, about a year after Toronto, when he’d picked up a woman at a bar on a road trip. It had been mechanical and awful, and he’d thrown up in the bathroom sink after she’d left.
Then, the second time had been a few months after Hayes had come out—before he’d released the blunt press release that he and Alexander had broken up—and he’d picked up a guy that time. Let him suck his dick. Had given him a hand in return. Hadstared at himself in the mirror after, hating his face, hating the crawling feeling ofnot right, not right, not rightall over his skin.
But he couldn’t tell Hayes any of that right now.
“I . . .there hasn’t been anyone.” That much was true. “And I was tested a year ago.”
Hayes had been kissing downhisneck, then, but his head popped up.
“In ayear?” he asked incredulously.
“It’s not that surprising,” Morgan argued.
The look on Hayes’ face said that the opposite was true. And okay, before Hayes, he’d never struggled to find sex when he wanted it.
“Um, yeah, it is,” Hayes said.
“We’re not talking about this right now,” Morgan said firmly and wrapped his hand around Hayes’ thigh and squeezed. “Does that mean you want me to leave the condoms in the drawer?”
Hayes nodded, gazing up at him like he was finally really seeingandbelieving what Morgan had said before.
Good.
He gave Hayes another long, leisurely, deep kiss, feeling his chest begin to rise and fall faster and his cock twitch against his stomach, smearing precome all over his skin.
Made sure he was nice and distracted first, before he went off to grab the lube.
Hayes had scooted up on the bed, moonlight falling over his skin, when Morgan returned.
“God, I want you,” Hayes sighed as Morgan opened the lube, trying to ignore how his fingers were shaking. It was lust, pure and simple. It was also nerves. It had been six years, and there had been times, more times than he liked to admit, when he’d imagined doing this again. How good he’d make it. So perfect that Hayes would never leave him again.
But now he knew Hayes loved him too. Could see it in his eyes, in every curve of his gorgeous face, as he leaned over, kissing him as Hayes’ legs opened for him.
He’d have to trust this would be enough. That he’d eventually say all the right things, in the right order. That Hayes would believe him, would trust him again.
That they could fully mend this thing between them that they’d broken, before.
“Want you too, angel. So gorgeous just like this,” Morgan murmured into his mouth as he slid a finger inside him.
Hayes groaned. Head falling back. Spine bowed. Neck exposed. Morgan felt lightheaded with it. Maybe other men had seen Hayes like this before, but he would be the last. The most important.
The only one Hayes loved.
He nudged another finger alongside the first, taking his time not only because it felt good even to do this to Hayes. To feel his heat and his tightness around his fingers. But because Hayes had said it without saying it—it had been awhile for him, and Morgan wasn’t going to rush him.
