Page 95 of Breaking the Ice
“Zach—”
“No, don’t. Don’t.” Zach glared at him again, hotter this time. Angrier. “You want this, you wantme, I know you do.”
It was impossible to deny it. “I do,” Gavin said, “but—”
Zach’s gaze was burning,boring, into him. “There doesn’t have to be abut! It just is. We weren’t expecting it but it happened, and it . . .” Zach looked away then, like he couldn’t bear it.
Gavin couldn’t bear it either, but hehadto, because he’d created this whole fucking mess. No matter how shitty this felt, he had to just stand here andfeelit.
“I want to say I shouldn’t have taken this job, because I was afraid of this, but we’ve been good together,” Gavin said.
Zach threw his hands up. “We could be good together,period. If you would fucking let us.”
“I’m too old for you. Too old and too . . .fucked up,” Gavin said quietly.
“If any of that was actually true, then this wouldn’t already be working,” Zach argued. He still looked pissed but he took a step closer and then another. Gavin wanted to run away, but he deserved this. So he stayed put. “You say we can’t date, that youwon’tdate, but we’re already dating.”
Gavin wanted to argue. But his mouth was so dry. Zach was so close. “No.No.”
“The only thing we’re not doing is kissing and—” Zach broke off with a mutteredfuck. “We’re just not touching each other like that, but we both want to. We’re doing everythingelse. We spend like fifteen fucking hours together and thenafter,we talk to each other every night. Like we can’t get enough.”
“That’s . . .that’s . . .that’swork.” But Zach wasn’t wrong.
And Zach knew it too, because he wore an unimpressed expression that told Gavin he knew just how much of a liar he’d turned into. It was work, yes, but it had evolved into something else, too. Friendship, affection, companionship, attraction. Even lust.
“It’s not wrong to want more,” Zach said, and suddenly he was gentle, soft, again, palm pressed against Gavin’s cheek and God, he wanted to lean into that touch more than he’d ever wanted anything, ever.
But that wasn’t true, was it?
Because the thing he’d wanted, theone fucking thinghe’d needed and never gotten was for Noelle to come back.
Guilt surged, and Gavin shook Zach’s hand off. “No,” he said roughly, turning away so Zach couldn’t see the glitter of moisture in his eyes.
He never should’ve permitted things to get this far, but now that they had, he could at least take responsibility and finally, put his foot down.
“Are you serious—youare, you’re fucking serious,” Zach said incredulously.
He didn’t reach for him again.
“I told you.” Gavin hated how raw he sounded, like his throat had been scraped with glass.
Zach stared at him for one beat and then another. “Yeah, you did.” And then he turned and walked away.
Chapter 13
Itwasnotthedawn of the new year that Zach had wanted.
He didn’t sleep. Stayed up, sitting in the same spot on the couch he’d collapsed onto the moment he’d walked into his apartment after the worst night of his life.
The best, and then the worst.
But even if it wasn’t what he’d anticipated, what he’d desperately craved, it could still be a new start.
A fresh beginning.
When his alarm blared at eight-thirty, Zach lifted himself off the couch, feeling every one of his twenty-seven years, and hobbled into the bathroom.
He took a long hot shower. Pretended that a few tears didn’t fall, mixing with the water as it swirled down the drain.
