Page 80 of Breaking the Ice
“You good?” he asked. Tried to make it a casual question. Theycouldshut this down, no question, but Zach wasn’t sure that would be a better option.
“Fine,” Finn retorted.
“Alright,” Zach said, nodding. He sent Ivan next, and then Ramsey. Finn got Ivan’s shot, but not Ramsey’s.
It was a great display by their offensive players, but Zach wasn’t surprised that by the end of the drill, Finn looked like he was a mess, missing shots he’d normally have stopped, no question.
“Hey, Finn,” Elliott called out, empathy written across his face as soon as the drill was over, but Finn wasn’t having it, skating off the ice as fast as he could.
“Just let him go,” Zach said, even though he knew he’d probably be the one following him. Trying to rebuild what they’d just broken.
“Shit,” Gavin muttered under his breath.
“Should I—”
But before Zach could get the question out, Ramsey had joined them, and shook his head no.
“I’ve got this,” Ramsey said.
“Andresen,” Gavin warned.
But Ramsey just shook him off, like he usually did. “No, really. I’ve got this. I know what to say.”
“Okay,” Gavin said.
When Ramsey was gone, when they were the only two left at the rink, Gavin turned to Zach. “I fucked that up.”
“If you fucked it up, so did I. I didn’t know—I thought he was solid.”
“Hewassolid,” Gavin said, frustration leaking into his voice. “Morgan wasn’t at the game on Saturday was he? Another sneak appearance?”
Zach shook his head. “Not that I was aware of. Besides, I saw him on ESPN when I got home after the game. He was on set. He wasn’t here, in Portland.”
“Well, maybe he opened his stupid fucking trap again,” Gavin muttered.
“Or maybe he’s already done the damage and now it’s just a process to repair it,” Zach said.
Gavin slid a look his way. “Yeah?”
“There’s years of baggage here, G,” Zach said. “You get that. It’s not just a blink and you’re better kind of thing.”
Zach thought that nobody might understand it better than Gavin. Sure, instead of an overbearing parent or too much pressure it was grief and loss, but in the end the result was the same. He’d gone to Michigan to hide out, and he refused to even consider dating again.
And it had beenyears.
“I do get that,” Gavin agreed. “Kinda wish I didn’t.”
Nobody probably wished that more than Gavin, but Zach figured he was probably a close second.
“Yeah,” Zach agreed. They shared a look. The kind of look that he kept telling himself he needed to stop indulging in, but he couldn’t quite make himself do it. Not when that look felt so good. Intimate and real and warm. Like Gavin’s chest cracked open briefly and he let Zach see deep inside, to his heart.
It was impossible not to show Gavin his heart right back. Even if it would be better. Easier.
“Zach—” Gavin said in a low voice. Zach told himself it didn’t sound seductive, and that Gavin wasn’t looking at his mouth, but goddamn it, he was.
Gavin exhaled hard. Said, “Sometimes, Idowish things were different.”
They’d been so good about this, for ages, forweeks, for more than a month now. A month and a half at least.
