Page 59 of Breaking the Ice
“He apologized? Ouch.”
“I mean, he didn’t say what for. Maybe he was apologizing fornotdoing it?” Zach wanted to believe that was true, but he didn’t quite buy it. Still, it was easier to say that than to say the alternative, which was that Gavin was apologizing foralmostkissing him.
“Sure,” Hayes said but it was obvious he wasn’t buying it either.
“What if we end up like this, together?”
“You mean happy and shit? I don’t know. Enjoy it,” Hayes said moodily.
“I meanyou and me. What the fuck are we going to do?”
“Grow old and grumpy together. Marry platonically,” Hayes said so quickly that it was obvious he’d thought about it, too. “Maybe adopt a dog.”
“I like cats,” Zach said, more to annoy Hayes than because it was true.
“Okay, we’ll adopt a dog and a cat and be one big happy gay family.”
“No offense but that sounds kind of awful,” Zach said. “I love you and that still sounds awful.”
“I know,” Hayes agreed despondently.
They were both quiet for a long moment. “Tell me we’re going to be okay,” Hayes said finally.
“You’re gonna be just fine. I’m going to give you Marcus’ number. You’re going to fall madly in love and have the best sticks in the league,” Zach said, even though he knew none of that was going to happen.
As for himself, he didn’t even want to spin any insane fantasies. If he ended up like Hayes? He’d lose his fucking mind.
He’d never be able to stay here, and he’d never want to leave, either.
It was so fucked.Hewas so fucked.
“I don’t think so,” Hayes said, but Zach could hear the smile in his voice and took that as a win.
“Sounds good, though,” Zach said.
“You’re gonna be okay too.” Hayes sounded like he meant it, and Zach really wanted to believe he was right.
So he did.
Chapter 9
October
Gavin kept telling himself this would get easier.
That one morning he’d wake up and see Zach—at the diner or in his office, at the rink, or at the gym, and his heart wouldn’t race. That his stomach wouldn’t flutter.
But it kept happening.
And after he lost his mind two weeks ago and nearly kissed himagain,after their first game, Gavin began to think that maybe itwouldn’tgo away.
That was terrifying, because what the fuck was he going to do about it?
He didn’t know.
It was obvious he should talk to Jon about it—heknewhe should—but he hadn’t yet. He hadn’t even known how to bring it up, and whenever Jon did, he was as bland as possible and then changed the subject.
Gavin didn’t think he’d really fooled him, but at least he hadn’t forced him to talk about it yet.
