Page 47 of Breaking the Ice
“Yeah? Hayes is your type? Yours and Marcus’, apparently.”
“In Marcus’ defense, he’s apparently got more than one type,” Gavin joked weakly.
“True. Good thing Hayes isn’t the kind of guy to get jealous.” Zach paused for a long moment. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say you found a guy attractive, before.”
One minute everything was fine, no worries whatsoever about crossing the line, and the next, they were edging right up to it, and Gavin was floundering trying to ease back from it.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be honest about his bisexuality—especially when Zach had come out to him even though he’d clearly been semi-terrified about it—but how could he separate the truth from his attraction to Zach?
“I . . .uh . . .” Gavin hesitated.
“It’s okay,” Zach said, like it was. Like Gavin wasn’t a total chickenshit.
They’d almost goddamn kissed on his couch in Michigan. Zachhadto know he had some form of attraction to men.
“It’s . . .it’s not, actually.”
There was a long, terrible silence.
“Not that I don’t think it’s okay,” Gavin said quickly, when he realized how fucking awful that sounded. God, he needed to do better. He could just tell the truth. Heshouldtell the truth. Zach deserved that much.
“Really—it’s okay,” Zach said.
“No. That’s what I meant. It’s not okay for me to not be honest. I don’t think it’s a big deal. I just . . .always knew I liked both? But I met Noelle so young that it wasn’t ever a thing that I could explore. It was just . . .it justwas.”
“Okay,” Zach said.
Gavin huffed out a frustrated breath. “Is that all you’re gonna say?”
“Congratulations?”
“You’re not the first person I came out to,” Gavin said, but he could still hear how hopelessly fond he was.
“Good,” Zach said.
Gavin squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could’ve done a way fucking better job at that. Even half out of his mind, Zach had done a better job coming out to him.
But then, Zach hadn’t been coming out to someone he was attracted to.
That had made it awkward. Or at least, that was what Gavin wanted to tell himself.
“That really sucked, actually,” Gavin admitted.
Zach laughed. “Did it?”
“It really did. Not me telling you, obviously. But how . . .God, tell me it gets less awkward.”
“Sort of,” Zach said. “I know everyone says,it gets better, but sometimes I think that’s something we tell ourselves so that we don’t approach each and every time like it’s gonna really fucking suck.”
“Fair,” Gavin said.
“But I’m glad you told me.”
“I should’ve told you before, but it felt . . .” Gavin took a deep breath. “Felt unnecessary.”
He didn’t have to say why. Zach got it.
“How old were you when you and Noelle met?” Zach asked quietly.
