Page 15 of Breaking the Ice
There was a whole fucking lot to say.
Gavin invited me into his house. Made me dinner. Practically cuddled with me on the couch. We almost—oh my God—kissed. And then he panicked, and the next morning it was like nothing had happened. He made me breakfast and then sent me on my way.
And in the last moment, when I was getting in the car, he compressed his lips together, shoved his hands into his pockets, and wouldn’t look me in the eye when he said that he wasn’t going to take the job.
It wasa whole lot.
So much that Zach’s hands had been shaking on the wheel as he’d driven out of the woods. So much that when he’d gotten to the airport, he’d convinced the nice lady in Traverse City to rebook his ticket from Portland to Tampa.
He’d come straight to Hayes. To tell him everything? To tell himsomething,certainly. Zach had never hidden anything from Hayes.
But it turned out he didn’t know how to even begin telling this story.
“What the fuck, man, you come out here all of a sudden, and now you won’t even tell me why?” Hayes didn’t sound mad though. He sounded worried.
Maybe he should be.
Zach’s hands had stopped shaking, but his insides hadn’t.
Every time he thought about that five minutes on the couch, after he’d showed Gavin the game film, he quivered like a tree in a storm.
It shouldn’t have been like that. It had never been like that before.
Sure, Zach had hero-worshipped Gavin. He’d had the unfortunate crush. But it had never felt like it could ever go anywhere. Even after Gavin’s wife had died, he’d never once thought,oh, now he’s free, something might happen.First, because Gavin had clearly been too devastated. Second, he’d never appeared to see Zach as anything but his player. And then there was the minor fact that Gavin had never said he was interested in guys like that.
He’d definitely never appeared to be interested in Zach like that.
“It didn’t go how I expected it would go,” Zach finally said.
Hayes made a face. “Well, no shit. So you made it onto the porch, huh?”
“I made it into the house. I . . .I spent the night.”
Hayes’ jaw dropped. “You didn’t freaking sleep with Gavin Blackburn. Tell me you didn’t.”
“No,no.” Zach laughed self-consciously. “No, of course not. I was on the couch. It wasn’t . . .it wasn’t like that.”
Hayes punched him in the arm lightly. “I was about to give you about a hundred high fives and then lecture you about what a terrible fucking idea that would be.”
“Awful,” Zach agreed.
It was one thing to say it out loud. It was another to believe it, deep down, though.
“You always had a ridiculous hockey crush on the guy.”
“Kind of like the one you had on Morgan Reynolds?”
Hayes punched him again, harder this time.
“And that’s why I’d be giving you the lecture,” Hayes said. He didn’t sound as bitter as he usually did. More resigned.
Zach shouldn’t have brought up Morgan. He was a sore spot, always, with Hayes. Zach couldn’t even blame him, considering what he knew about what had happened between them.
“And don’t think I missed that you’re trying to distract me,” Hayes continued. “You stayed the night on his couch? I can’t fucking believe it. Nobody’s ever made it to the porch before.”
“He was never going to shoot me.”Wasn’t ever going to shoot anyone. If they actually thought that, they were stupid enough they didn’t deserve Gavin, anyway.
“Not you,” Hayes agreed. He was quiet for a long moment, floating in the water. His eyes were covered by sunglasses, andhis expression was thoughtful, but opaque. “I’m guessing despite you two becoming reacquainted, he’s not taking the job.”
