Page 138 of Breaking the Ice
Gavin nearly rolled his eyes and asked if they printed that on a T-shirt, but he’d gotten what he’d wanted, and it was better not to create additional waves.
“That’s great,” Gavin said instead and returned to his salad.
“I was thinking, there’s this other podcast we could get you on—”
He didn’t even think. He just lifted his eyes up, spearing Sidney with a look. “Don’t push your luck.”
For a second, Gavin worried that heshouldhave kept making nice, but Sidney just laughed, slapping his arm and making some kind of foolish noise about how Gavin should never change.
Well, Gavin didn’t intend to.
Except for one important detail: now that the impossible had happened, and he’d fallen in love for a second time in his life, he was never letting Zach go.
It took Gavin ten minutes to figure out exactly why Jon was being so fuckingcagey.
At first, he’d been sure it washim, because they were discussing his sex life, and Gavin hated that every single time it came up, in every single iteration.
Now that he was actually sharing it with Zach and it was so good,unexpectedlygood, discussing it was actually worse.
He could barely tell his therapist with a straight face that he’d jerked off.
Nevermind explaining to him that apparently it made his dick as hard as it had ever been when Zach pinned him to the bed and didn’t let him come, no matter how much he begged for it.
“Have you discussed how far you two want to take things?” Jon asked.
He’d been weird, off almost, since the moment Gavin got on the call, like he kept expecting him to explode with some emotional drama that Jon would have to deal with. But there was nothing.
Unless you counted Gavin being required to discuss his sex life.
“Some, yeah. But I think we’re both pretty happy with how things are right now. Like . . .uh . . .I don’t want to be tied up, and I don’t want to tiehimup. It’s just good sometimes, when he tells me not to move, and I can . . .” Gavin internally squirmed. “I can let him take all of it from me.”
“Take what exactly?”
Gavin exhaled and scrubbed a hand across his face. “I want to say my consent but that’s not true either, because he knows I’m consenting.”
“Did you have that conversation about safe words?”
“Yeah, and I get why it might be something that could be needed, but for us—if I say stop, Zach knows I mean stop.”
“Does he?”
“Ugh, I hate it when you do that,” Gavin grumbled.
“Ask about your sex life? Force you to talk about it?”
“Answer a question you already know the answer to.”
“I think the most important thing is thatyouknow the answer,” Jon said.
“Well, obviously I do,” Gavin retorted and then realized a second later, why Jon had even asked. He laughed, feeling that buoyant happiness seep through him again. “You wanted to know if I did.”
Jon nodded. “Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”
Gavin shook his head. “Honestly, I’m . . .I can’t even believe I’m saying this sometimes, but I’m so happy. I didn’t think this was in the cards for me, again.”
“I’m glad it was,” Jon said, but he was hesitating again. Gavin could see it on his face. Maybe Jon was the therapist and Gavin was just the client, but for as long as Jon had been looking at him, Gavin had been looking back. And there was no question in Gavin’s mind that something was up.
“Are you concerned about what Zach and I are doing in bed?” Gavin asked it bluntly, because maybe he was. Normally he’d never expect Jon to hold back an opinion, but it was also such a weirdly awkward topic.
