Page 122 of Breaking the Ice
“I don’t know, he’s trying pretty hard with Finn these days to keep that shit at least under wraps,” Gavin pointed out. “I wouldn’t have believed it, but I’veseenit. Even watched him getting along with Braun, like they might actually be friends. I’m just saying crazier things have happened.”
“Don’t tell Hayes that,” Zach said morosely.
“I wouldn’t,” Gavin said, expression earnest. “I can’t say he and I get along all that great, but maybe I should—”
“Oh my God, G,no,” Zach said and suddenly he was laughing. Not because it would be funny, but because of how catastrophic the dumpster fire would be. “Nobodyknows. Just them and us. Can you imagine how much he’d freak out if you knew he’d fucked Hayes Montgomery five years ago.”
“Might get him out of his head, to scare him like that,” Gavin muttered.
Zach grinned. “You’re so evil. I love it.”
“Yeah?”
“God, I loveyou,” Zach said, and he realized what he’d said only after Gavin’s eyes went wide. And surely it couldn’t have been that much of a surprise? He’d said it before, during their dinner date. He hadn’t intended to say it again, but it had just popped out of Zach’s mouth because it was such a part of him now, had been practically since the day he’d shown up here in Portland, that it almost didn’t even make sense tonotsay it, though he had been trying to keep those three words under wraps not to freak Gavin out.
“Oh, um, yes,” Gavin said awkwardly.
Here was the thing: it was almost impossible to be mad that Gavin didn’t say it back right now, because of Gavin’s history, and how long and hard he’d resisted dating again.
He wouldn’t love again easily. But hewould. Zach believed that with every fiber of his being.
After all, G had said it best himself; he’d dated two people ever. His wife, and Zach.
“Sorry if you . . .uh . . .didn’t want to hear that again,” Zach said, trying for chill and ending up somewhere else.
Gavin cleared his throat and set his sandwich down. “Not at all, Zach. I just . . .”
“I get it,” Zach said, putting a hand on Gavin’s arm and squeezing. “I really get it.”
Gavin didn’t say anything.
“I can be patient. I just wasn’t before, because you clearly wanted this as much as I did, and you kept pretending you didn’t. That was frustrating, and I couldn’t do it forever. But waiting for you to get comfortable, while Ihaveyou? In my bed and next to me while we eat lunch and across from me at the dinner table? That’s a no-brainer. I’m there and I’mhappyto be, as long as you need me.”
Gavin swallowed hard. “You mean that.”
“I said it, before. I can say it again. That’s why I don’t mind being patient. Waiting until you’re ready.”
“I . . .” Gavin winced. “Is it selfish to ask you to do that?”
“Is it selfish to expect you need more than ten days of time after we get together to love me?” Zach laughed and shook his head.
Gavin cracked a smile then, too, and something deep that had tensed inside Zach relaxed again.
“Maybe not toactuallyfeel it,” Gavin said softly. “Maybe to accept it. To say it.”
They hadn’t done this at the rink, but Zach couldn’t help it. He leaned in and kissed Gavin briefly, tasting the honey mustard from his sandwich.
“Well . . .uh,” Gavin said eloquently when he pulled back. “Should we talk about the power play?”
Zach laughed. “Do you really want to?”
Gavin made a face. “I really don’twantto, but I think we’ve got to.”
“You know how I feel about it,” Zach said. He hadn’t made a secret of his opinion, and maybe Monty was right, it wasn’this responsibility to merely parrot back Gavin’s opinions, but to challenge them.
Gavin had never struck him as someone who wanted a yes-man around him.
“I want to move Mal to the second unit,” Gavin said.
