Page 114 of Breaking the Ice
“Yeah,” Zach said. “And Hayes would hate that I’m telling you this, but we’re . . .well, we’re . . .” He pursed his lips and blew out a short breath. “We’re together now. So you should know. Or know it all. It fucked Hayes up. It’s currently fucking Hayes up.”
“After five years?”
Zach sighed. “Is there a statute of limitations for loving someone who doesn’t love you back?”
“No wonder you looked like you wanted to kill him,” Gavin said. “Well, we knew Morgan was an ass.”
“Yep, we sure did, and Hayes knows it too,” Zach muttered, picking up his wineglass and taking a long drink.
“Probably better than anyone else,” Gavin guessed, and Zach nodded.
Their salads arrived then, and they were quiet for a long minute, eating.
“I thought I might end up like him,” Zach said out of nowhere, while they were waiting for their main dishes.
“Like Hayes?”
Zach nodded. “In love and no chance of it ever being returned.” He flushed then, like he’d just realized what he’d said. “Shit, I didn’t mean—”
But it wasn’t surprising. Gavin knew what it was like when you were with someone when love and desire were intertwined, and nothing about this thing with Zach felt casual. He didn’t think he ever could havedonecasual. Could he say it back yet? Gavin didn’t know, but he could at least reassure Zach.
“It’s okay.” Gavin reached across the table and took Zach’s hand, squeezing it. “I care about you, too. A whole lot. I’d never have done this otherwise.”
Zach’s embarrassment finally seemed to fade. “Yeah?”
“This isn’t just some flash in the pan thing for me. I’ve only ever wanted to be with two people, and you’re one of them, Zach,” Gavin said quietly.
In fact, the last thing Zach looked now was embarrassed. His flush seemed to be more of the “incredibly turned on” variety. Gavin was a fan.
“I feel like I’ve wanted you most of my life,” Zach agreed, squeezing his hand back. “This is like a dream come true.”
And it wasn’t a lie, not even stretching the truth for Gavin to say back, “For me, too.”
They did manage to finish dinner—only because Gavin teased Zach about needing to eat his protein so he’dhave enough energy for later—and Zach even bypassed the dark chocolate mousse on the menu, giving Gavin a long speculative look as he told the waiter they had dessert waiting for them at home.
“So you’ve got something decadent and delicious back at your apartment for me to eat for dessert, huh?” Gavin asked as they walked out into the night air. It was cold for January, and their shoulders brushed together as they turned down the sidewalk towards Zach’s place.
“I think I can come up with something,” Zach said, the look he shot Gavin both earnest and scorching.
Gavin’s mouth went dry.
When he’d ever let himself consider what dating Zach would be like, he’d never imagined it would be like this. Easy and fun and intense and so hot it was a miracle Gavin’s brain didn’t just melt.
But it also wasn’t much different than what they’d been doing before. Sure, the flirting was new—or notnew, but neither of them were shying away when it got to be too much—and the sex wasdefinitelynew, but other than that, the dinner tonight could have been like a dozen others they’d shared in the last few months.
He told you, you just didn’t want to listen.
“Hey,” Gavin said, hesitantly. Zach liked it when he used his words.Heliked it when he used his words. “I think . . .I think you might’ve been right.”
Zach smirked. “You don’t want to save that for later? Sounds like pretty hot pillow talk.”
Gavin had no doubt that at some point in the evening, Zach would have him babbling out much dirtier things. And not only would Gavin not feel a hint of shame, they’d both probably enjoy it a little too much.
“No,” Gavin said, “this isn’t about sex.” He flushed. Ironically he could dish it out in the bedroom, once they were both naked, but right now? Walking down a street where anyone could see them and hear them? Just the word made him hot under the collar. “It’s about . . .well, the dating thing. I’m glad you told me the truth. I think it probably sucked to do it, but you were right. We were already dating. I just didn’t know it yet. Or I didn’t want to acknowledge it.”
“Yeah it did suck,” Zach agreed, his gaze warm on Gavin’s face. “But it’s okay, because you listened. Eventually.”
“Eventually,” Gavin muttered.
