Page 71 of Like An Animal
“You okay?” Xavi presses again, but I ignore him.
“You look sad,” the child remarks before pushing her doll against my chest. “She helps me be happy.”
“Screw being sad. He looks like he’s having a stroke,” Xavi remarks under his breath, but I ignore him.
I know my grandfather and others will want a paternity test to prove Bronwyn’s claim, but I see the evidence on Charlotte’s face.
She’s my child.
“She’s yours. You keep her.” I hand the doll back over to her and she shrugs.
“Okay.” Then, she lifts her head, looking over my shoulder, and she grins so big it lights up her whole face. “Mommy!” I drop my grip from her arm as she runs around me. I turn to watch her as she darts straight for Bronwyn, who drops to her knees to accept her hug. Charlotte throws herself at her mother who holds her tight. Kissing her cheek, Bronwyn pushes Charlotte’s hair out of her face.
“Are you okay, baby?”
Charlotte nods before giggling. “Yup. Xavi made my doll dance and sing. It was funny.”
“You had fun?”
The little girl grins. “Loads. I’m hungry though.”
I turn a sneer toward Xavi. “You didn’t feed her?”
He shrugs. “You told me to bring her here. You didn’t give me any further instruction. Plus, she’s been having a good time. What is up with you? You’re acting strange.” Xavi gives me a weird look, but I brush him off.
I look at Massimo before talking. “Get her some food.” Then, I look back at Xavi. “And you, take her to get stuff for her room, whatever the fuck she wants.”
Xavi arches a brow and tilts his head at me. “Huh?”
“You heard me. We’re going to be here for a while. Grab some guys to get everything set up once you get back.”
“Are you feeling alright, man? Why do you care about having a room set up for the girl?” Massimo pipes in.
“Yeah. I understand that she’s Bron’s kid, but I don’t get it either. You were brushing her off on the plane. You didn’t seem to have any interest in her.”
Because I didn’t. I had no interest in being bothered by a kid I didn’t know or necessarily like. But, it’s different because she’s mine.
She’s been in the world for four fucking years and I missed everything. I wasn’t there when she was born, when she took her first step or when she started talking. And I wasn’t in fucking jail. I had no excuse for not being there.
Not a single fucking one.
I can never make up for that absence, but I can try. A good place to start is by making a space just for her.
“Just do it,” I press.
I stand up and walk over to Bronwyn and Charlotte as she keeps telling her mother about the different games Xavi has played with her while still clutching her raggedy doll tight to her chest.
Massimo walks out the front door as I stop beside my wife and our…daughter.
That sounds so weird to say, even in my head.
Charlotte jumps up to her feet immediately. “You feel better?” she asks, tilting her head to the side.
I nod before clearing my throat. “Max will be back soon with food and after you eat, Xavi will take you to get some things to make yourself feel more…comfortable.” The words feel weird and awkward, especially since I’m saying them to a four year old child.
She screeches as she throws her arms around my legs, like I just gave her the best gift ever. She grins up at me as she says, “Thank you, Jeremy.” Then, she runs back over to Xavi before flopping on top of the mutt, who barks at the move.
That’s what you get, mutt.
