Page 37 of Like An Animal
Decisions. Decisions.
CHAPTER 16
THE GHOST
Three days.
I was given three days to get my affairs in order. I listed the house for sale and signed everything over to my Aunt Cheryl, my mother’s sister, because I know she’s the only person I can trust right now. I know Jeremy, Massimo and Xavi will want my head on a platter if I ever manage to get out of this deal. Nothing will ever be the same.
I spent my two nights of freedom in Jeremy’s bed, crying into his pillow for everything I’ve lost.
I’m sorry, my love. I didn’t have a choice.
I hate myself for what I had to do to him, but of all the options at my disposal, it’s the one that caused the least amount of damage.
The only way I’ll survive this is if I shut down my heart and cut his claws out of the beating muscle. This right here is bad, but it’s about to get ten times worse.
Panic starts to grip me as I stare at the alarm clock on the bedside table. I dig my nails into his hoodie as I hold it against my chest.
Only a few minutes of freedom left.
Three minutes.
I unzip my duffle bag and push the hoodie inside along with my phone, wallet and the black leather bracelet Jeremy gave me with a ghost charm on it. I take off my necklace which belonged to my mother and put it in the bag.
Two minutes.
I grab Jeremy’s notebook full of all the songs he has written and put it in the bag too. Then I grab his photo album full of all the pictures left of his parents, something his grandfather sent him off with when he and Kathy moved to Grove Hill from New Jersey.
I could never forgive myself if he lost those permanently. One day, I’ll make sure he gets them back.
Tears fall down my face as I zip up the bag.
One minute.
I shove the bag under the bed and pull down the blanket to make sure it’s covered before I stand up.
“I’ll fix this someday. I promise, Jer.”
Standing up, I leave his room for the last time before heading downstairs. The internal clock in my head ticks away with every second, even as I stand there, staring at the front door. My insides twist as I force every emotion, every ounce of love for anyone, including my humanity, to shut the fuck down.
Disassociation is a wonderful thing. After such a long time of using it to survive trauma, I’ve learned to do it at will. The hard part is pulling myself out of it, but I don’t intend to ever do that.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
And…one.
I pull open the door and find three tall men wearing all black standing there, black masks pulled over their heads. The one to the left grabs my shoulder and pulls me out the door.
“Feel free to search me. I’ve got nothing on me,” I willingly admit. One of his friends pat me down before the other one digs his fingers into the back of my neck wordlessly and pushes me toward the black SUV in the driveway.
“Get in, doll,” one of the masked men says as he pulls open the door, blocking me from the others. I get the sense this is a kindness that he’s not supposed to give me. He’s probably supposed to throw me in and rough me up, but I don’t disobey. I climb into the back with no seat and sit down, staring blankly out the window.
