Page 70 of Humans Don't Have Horns
I snort. Then I realize he was being serious.
“I am not,” I quip at him. Not bothering to mention it was not Daton who made me such but the Puresoul Rod tried to ally with. I would rather not mention that even to myself.
“Yes, you are. You are purer than any Aldonian woman who has ever lived. And anyone who says otherwise will be killed by the church for blasphemy,” he insists.
“No.” He can’t take Daton away from me. I’m not naive, I know he can’t sit on Aldon’s throne, but I will not erase him from my life.
“This is how I can make you queen. A Cursed One can never be part of it. I’m not saying you can’t be discreet. We all have our hidden sins, as your sister seems to understand very well already.”
His acceptance of my relationship in private is not lost on me. Something my brother would never consider. Is he trying to please me, or is he being pragmatic, seeking only power, and was never a fanatic racist? I suspect it is both.
“I know that. But I won’t hide him,” I insist, unwilling to betray the love Daton and I have.
“Then you’ll die, as will I.” He spreads his hands in acceptance.
“There must be another way.” I frown and glance at Siean. Her face reflects my pain, and it’s like being punched because she doesn’t believe there is another way, and for some reason, it saddens her.
“You are the one Amada speaks to. Tell me what other way there is,” he says in an appeasing tone as if willing to consider another solution. But I know Aldon. My brother acted in a way most Aldonian men would. They would rather kill their sisters than lose face in front of other men. It happens all the time in Aldon for far less.
“Change takes time. You will have the power to redeem hispeople. To protect them from being hunted for their horns. You could give them land. But only if our people believe you to be a believer of the True Religion.” His voice is honey-coated as if he is already my adviser.
“No.” I shake my head and fight the tears I feel in the backs of my eyes.
“You can’t burn down the throne and still sit on it.” He now sounds frustrated with my adamance.
“Then no one will sit on it,” I challenge.
“That is not how power works. Power is never an orphan. It is never unclaimed.”
Siean intervenes. “If Dorem takes the throne, what will he decide for the Cursed Ones’ fate? For the Kozaries, for the Renyans? What will he choose for the Aldonian women? You can’t pretend there will be no consequences for your absence from the race for power. There will not be a void.”
“Would you hide your love to keep the throne?” I ask her bitterly.
“I don’t know how to answer that.” Her voice is gruff. “I do know, if I loved someone, I would do anything to keep them safe, including staying away from them, including hiding how I feel toward them.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Lian
“Say something,” I snap at Daton. Since I told him what happened, he has said nothing, only paced in his tent in front of me like a caged lion. Three steps in one direction, three in the other. Again and again. His fists clench and open, and each time his eyes meet my bruises, the sound of an injured animal escapes him.
“What would you have me say?” he growls at me through clenched teeth. And I know him well enough to know he’s fighting with all his strength right now just not to lose it. Just not to go on a killing raid for any Puresoul in the area. If my brother were not already dead, there would be nothing I could say or do to stop him from killing him. In his mind, he has failed to protect me again. But he doesn’t dare say it because he is many things, but stupid is not one of them. Weirdly, as I watch him fight for self-control, my heart swells with pride in him for the growth he has made. For listening to what I told him about his need to protect me.
“I don’t know. Maybe, ‘Don’t go.’ Maybe, ‘I need you to stay and be my happy ending.’” I can’t keep my voice from trembling at the last words. Daton snorts at my corny words. Thinking he and I would ever get to have a happy ending is ridiculous. It really is. It was all along, wasn’t it?
Daton stops pacing and comes to me, pulling me into his embrace, his powerful body pressed to mine, his arms encircling me.
“What if I don’t want to go to Aldon?” I insist, needing to know if he’ll try to persuade me. The best thing for the Mongans is that I go, and he knows it.
“Then we’ll go to the Land of the Outlaws and grow our own food.” He brushes strands of my hair from my face. “And I’ll have you every night under the stars, and your voice will be hoarse from screaming your pleasure.” He kisses me lightly on my forehead as he says those blunt words, and my toes curl.
“That’s what I want.” I press my face to his chest and breathe in his scent, my tears wetting his shirt. “I want just that.” And every time I say it, I cry harder. Because we can’t escape Amada. We can’t stay dry in a deluge.
“There is a way for us to stay together, even from afar,” he tells me. I can feel a heaviness to his words. It’s as if the sky holds its breath at those words. I look up at him, trying to understand his meaning. “Make a Blood Oath with me.” His voice is no more than a whisper, yet it is so loud. But I can only stare at him, baffled. I’m leaving, and he asks me to marry him at the same time. “I will wait for you. Until my last breath, and after that, in the stars,” he promises, so solemn all of a sudden.
“But that’s not fair to you. You’re not a Shavir. I will grow old. And the moment I step in Aldon, they’ll start the assassination attempts. The chances—”
He cuts through my words, “I will never pressure you for something like a Blood Oath. You must want such a bond. But I love you so deeply that I know no words for it. Since the moment I laid eyes on you, there was no other woman for me. In life and in death, it can only be you for me.” His eyes are two starry pools of endless depth.
