Page 21 of Best Laid Plans
He took another step away from her and rubbed a hand across his face. ‘I need my freedom right now. I need to be alone.’
She snorted in angry frustration, every inch of her skin feeling hot and prickly. ‘It was just going to be a kiss. A bit of fun. It didn’t have to mean anything.’
If only that were true. Perhaps if it were then her voice wouldn’t sound as if she’d just been picked up and shaken hard.
He screwed up his face in frustration. ‘It’s never just a bit of fun though, is it?’ There was a look of admonishment in his eyes that made her stomach drop to the floor.
How embarrassing. She’d read the situation all wrong – though, to be fair to her, she hadn’t come here looking for romance. She was just going with the flow, enjoying the adventure, seeing where the day took her.
Not that she hadn’t considered the possibility of something more developing between them after he’d agreed to come down here with her. His change in mood had made her wonder whether there could be something more to this.
Something exciting. Something good.
But clearly, she was wrong.
‘What is it you’re afraid of?’ she asked, her tone a little defensive as she fought to maintain her pride.
He took another step away from her, rubbing a hand through his hair, messing up the neat waves. He looked back at her with such exasperation on his face it made her want to move towards him and smooth it away.
Which, of course, she couldn’t.
Instead, she tried to smile as if it all meant nothing to her, which proved impossible because it felt as though the corners of her mouth were being dragged down by some kind of extreme gravitational force. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.’
He looked at her for the longest time, his troubled gaze searching her face as if he wanted to say more but couldn’t find the right words. Finally, he held up his hand, as if putting up a barrier between them. ‘I’m going to go,’ he said, taking a step away from her, his posture dipping a little as the pebbles gave way under his feet. ‘It’s for the best.’
And then he turned, his shoulders tense and his hands clenched into fists, and strode away from her until he disappeared into the inky-dark night.
6
Praiano to Positano – traversing the Path of the Gods. Be aware, this part of the walk includes vertiginous sections with breathtaking views…
Julien didn’t sleep well again.
Only this time his dreams weren’t tangled with thoughts of his ex-wife and his failed marriage; instead, they kept coming back to the intensity of the moment he’d shared with Indigo on the beach. Over and over again, as if the memory was stuck on repeat.
In his half-wakeful state the next morning, he relived the overpowering instinct he’d felt to hold her close, to experience the strength of her wrapped around him, to taste her sweetness – only then to feel the wrench of guilt for almost indulging his cravings when he had no intention of following through on his physical promises.
There was no wonder she’d looked so wounded when he’d pushed her away. He’d practically accused her of being the one to lead their strange, lustful dance.
He’d been just as much to blame. More so, probably.
He’d wanted her.
But he had no right to indulge his wants. Not in the mindset he was in at the moment.
He’d known at the time that he was going too far – way too far – when he’d agreed to go down to the beach with her, but despite the warnings flashing through his mind, he’d not been able to walk away and leave her.
He’d been greedy for more time with Indigo Hughes.
It had felt good to be able to take charge of her challenging situation and do something to help. After the sheer frustration of failing to save his marriage, it had fortified something inside him – given him the satisfaction that he hadn’t lost his ability to take care of people when they needed help. Even if it had been for a near-enough stranger.
Not that Indigo felt like a stranger to him any more. After hearing about how she’d lost both her parents and her struggles growing up in such a tough environment she’d become vividly real to him now. Which, of course, was part of the problem.
Standing on that beach in the quiet of dusk, watching the day change into another dark, solitary night, he’d wanted her to know what an incredible, impressive and attractive person he thought she was. At that moment, making a connection with her had seemed important for some reason.
But, in doing so, he’d nearly stepped over the line and once again proved just how selfish he could be.
Giving up on getting any more sleep, he decided to set off early from the hotel in order to miss most of the other walkers on his way to Positano.
