Page 60 of So That Happened
‘Okay. Well, we both said some things we shouldn’t have. Let’s just forget about it,’ she said quickly. She needed air. Or maybe a double shot of vodka to calm her raging nerves.
A tense silence fell between them as they looked at each other and she became aware of her fingers tapping against her legs.
Why was he still here if all he’d wanted to do was apologise? He’d done that. He should be striding out of there by now, mission accomplished.
‘Why are you really here, Connor?’
He ran a hand over his eyes, his shoulders slumping a notch. ‘I’ve been thinking about what you said.’
‘About you needing to man up? I’m sorry about that. It was a stupid thing to say.’
He put a hand up to stop her. ‘The thing is, Josie, I’ve been on my own for so long I don’t know how to care about someone else any more. I wanted to be on the move because it’s what I’m used to. I’ve been doing it since I was eighteen and I thought it was what defined me. It’s not. Not really.’
‘What changed your mind?’ Her words came out as a whisper.
He moved towards her and touched her arm gently. ‘You did. I miss being around you. Frustrating though you are sometimes. We’re so different, but we totally work together.’
‘Immovable object meets irresistible force?’ She could barely get the words out.
He smiled. ‘That’s a good description of us.’
Her head spun. What was going on here? Had Connor really materialised in the middle of Maddie’s awards ceremony to tell her he’d changed his mind? Or was her under-rested, over-stressed brain playing tricks on her?
She needed a minute to pull herself together.
‘Let’s move somewhere a bit more private,’ she said, nodding towards a quiet corner where they could meld into the shadows more easily. There was no way she was having this conversation in full public view – not if she was going to end up in pieces.
* * *
Connor’s stomach clenched in fear as he realised Josie wasn’t responding quite the way he’d hoped. She seemed to be miles away, her eyes unfocused, as if she was thinking about something else entirely. Maybe that was her way of coping with being around him again. Or perhaps she was over him already?
The thought made his chest constrict and a slow flood of dread seeped through his veins.
No. Not possible. Not if she felt anything like the way he did.
He was quiet as he searched her face for any kind of emotion. Her eyes flickered under his scrutiny, as if she was trying to hide something from him. The silence was clearly making her nervous.
‘Josie?’ Connor looked at her intently, his brow furrowed. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind about us, because I don’t believe it.’
She crossed her arms and paused for a beat, seeming to gather her thoughts. Finally, she looked up at him, her gaze steady. ‘After I left, I did some serious thinking,’ she said. ‘You were right. I would have had a breakdown if I’d carried on the way I was going. You helped me get some perspective on life. Thank you for that.’
‘Well, I’m happy to have helped.’ A steady and severe pulse throbbed in his head; panic was rising in his belly. This time the potential of an attack played at the edge of his consciousness in response to the paralysing terror that she was about to tell him where he could stick his apology.
‘I’m glad I met you. I needed a wake-up call,’ she said.
He wasn’t sure where she was going with this. His hands shook at his sides and he put them behind his back so she wouldn’t see. If she was about to give him the brush-off, he wanted to get out of there with as much dignity as he could muster.
‘So, what are you going to do about it?’ He hated how breezy his voice sounded. If only she knew how he was burning up inside maybe she wouldn’t prolong the agony she was putting him through.
‘I’m going to slow things down a bit. Get some semblance of a life back. Talk some things through with a counsellor. Whatever I do, I’m not going to allow my work to take over my life again.’
‘Okay.’
Josie looked at him steadily. ‘I have to admit I was furious with you for sticking your nose into my business at first, but I realise you were only trying to help in your strange, lopsided way.’
He snorted gently. ‘Yeah, well, I’ve been trying to save the world for so long I don’t know when to stop.’
‘I thought you were going to India?’
