Page 45 of So That Happened
He truly was the most fascinating man she’d ever met – not to mention the most devastatingly attractive. After everything he’d gone through, he was still moving on with his life, making things better and infinitely more comfortable for people who had no way of achieving that by themselves. Was she really going to give up the opportunity to spend more time with him so easily? She’d be a total fool to end things like this.
Her heart thumped against her chest. Her body was a mess of emotions. That wasn’t what she wanted. When she’d given in last night, she’d told herself it was purely for the sex. A physical thing. She was going about this fling in completely the wrong way, pushing him too hard with questions he didn’t want to answer and attaching emotions to things she had no business getting involved in.
And now she was overthinking things, as usual.
Keep it simple, stupid.
Jumping out of the car, she hurried after him, determined to pull things back to how they’d been before their trip out.
* * *
Connor felt like punching the wall. What the hell was he doing, opening up about his past? For years he’d locked the memories safely in the back of his head and avoided conversations about his family with anyone he met. But Josie was different. The problem was, she already knew part of the story, and he was sure she wouldn’t have dropped the subject until she’d got her answers. She was a wily one.
It had seemed the simplest thing at the time to tell her everything and then move on, but in recounting the story out loud he’d brought back the paralysing feelings of insecurity and rejection he’d been repressing for years.
Her reaction had unsettled him – the comment about him being stubborn had made him feel petty and ignorant. After such a long time it seemed completely natural for him to avoid any contact with Abi, but perhaps she had changed? He certainly didn’t recognise his sister from Josie’s descriptions of her.
Her about-face on the fling had him rattled, too. It was always him that decided when a relationship was over, and he didn’t like having the power taken away from him.
Not that he should care in the slightest. Josie Marchpane was nothing to him – just a blip on his radar, soon to be history.
So what was this sinking feeling in his gut?
The snug was cool and dim after the hot glare of the sun and it soothed his overheated body to sit alone in the darkness, away from Josie’s tormenting presence. Maybe he should leave? It was going to be awkward as hell to stay here with her in the house – especially now she’d started mining away at his emotional barriers.
But why the hell should he be the one to go? The whole purpose of coming here had been to get back to base and attempt to work out why the satisfaction he’d previously reaped from his projects was eluding him now. With a start, he realised he’d barely thought about that since meeting Josie.
He pondered it all now.
It wasn’t as though he was bored; he had so much going on and regularly met new and interesting people. His lifestyle allowed him to keep things light and entertaining, to walk away when he felt he’d experienced all he wanted to out of a situation. It comforted him to know he could up and leave when it suited him – he enjoyed being a shadow, a ghost that left an impression but nothing tangible.
The idea of being responsible long-term for someone else chilled his blood; he was more well-suited to giving little and often, spreading out the help he could offer to strangers.
Like last night. He’d enjoyed seeing Josie bloom beneath his hands – it had excited him like nothing else had in a long while – but now she knew more about him than he’d usually admit to and it had left him vulnerable and uncomfortable.
He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. Maybe he’d made a mistake, getting involved with Josie – even on a superficial level. He’d assumed she was aloof and controlled enough to handle a short fling, but apparently, he’d been wrong. And she was too distracting, with her idiosyncrasies and her unnerving ability to keep taking him by surprise.
He sat up straighter in his seat.
Or perhaps this had all been part of a cunning ruse to get rid of him. He couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across his face at the thought. He wouldn’t put it past her.
But he didn’t really believe that. Her body language gave her away; she still wanted him for real, just as he wanted her – he’d bet his Triumph on it.
He heard the front door open and close and braced himself for seeing her again.
The room dimmed even more as she stood in the doorway, blocking out the light from the hallway.
‘Don’t worry, I’ll leave,’ he said, pre-empting her opening gambit. ‘Dibs wins after all.’
‘Don’t go.’ Her voice was firm, but affable.
He frowned, surprised by her sudden change of mood.
‘I’m sorry for asking so many questions,’ she said, moving into the room and sitting down on the couch next to him. ‘It’s really not my place to judge you. Can we forget about it and enjoy the rest of our time together?’ She turned to look at him. ‘I promise – no work and no more questions about your past.’
The tightness eased in his chest. She was offering him a “Get Out of Jail Free” card, but something still tugged at his conscience.
‘I don’t know, Josie. It’s probably better if I go. It’s all got a bit serious and that’s definitely not what I was after. You neither, I suspect.’
