Page 30 of So That Happened
‘Tell me about it.’
It was easier to give in at this point. There was no way he was going to leave her alone until the whole sordid mess was out in the open.
Her legs shook with a mixture of nerves and lust, so she sat down to avoid collapsing in a puddle at his feet. Leaning her back against the fence, she waited for him to slide down next to her before she spoke.
‘Okay, yes, you’ve got me. I’m the second favourite daughter in the family.’ She glanced across at him but he was staring at his hands. ‘I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong when I was younger. I wanted my achievements noted, just like Maddie’s were, but no matter what I did, she outshone me. I was dim in comparison to her. I gave up trying to get any attention after a while and they sort of left me to it. I think they’ve all written me off as a failure.’
She tried to keep her voice light and breezy, but gave herself away at the end with a wobble on the last word.
Connor chose to ignore it. ‘Even though you’re running your own business?’ he asked.
‘They think I’m playing at it because it’s taken a while for us to get any traction in the marketplace. Abi and I spent a long time not taking a wage.’
‘That’s a tough thing to comprehend for anyone without a head – or the guts – for business.’
She pulled a long stem of grass out of the earth and ripped strands off it, keeping her fingers busy to stop herself digging her nails painfully into her palms. ‘Every time I turn up at their house they ask the same polite questions about what’s going on with the business and I have to give them the same answers and see the same look of boredom and disappointment on their faces. They want me to be so much more than I am.’
‘Your sister’s set an impossible standard.’
She let out a harsh laugh and wagged a finger at him. ‘There’s no such thing as impossible, Connor. Not according to my father anyway.’ She let out a long breath and tried to ease the tension in her shoulders.
‘What do they want you to be doing?’
‘Something world-changing.’
‘Why did you choose the business you did?’
‘Because when I met Abi through a friend of a friend, and she talked to me about her plans for the business, I felt inspired for the first time in my life. And luckily, she thought I’d make a good partner too. She’s a great CEO – all the staff love her. She has a way of motivating people and she’s good at taking risks on giving people responsibilities beyond their experience and bringing out the best in them. That’s something she and I disagreed on for a while, but it seems to have worked out pretty well so far. No one wants to disappoint her.’
‘Least of all you?’
She smiled sadly. ‘Too late for that.’
‘I’m sure my sister knows how lucky she is to have you working with her. It was a good move to surround herself with smart people.’
Josie snorted.
‘What? You don’t think you’re smart?’
‘I know I’m smart. Just not smart enough – or maybe not smart in the right way.’
‘How do you quantify that? What does “smart enough” look like?’
‘It looks solid, razor-sharp and Technicolour.’ She relaxed her clenched hands to form a cage, as if she could somehow capture this elusive beast. ‘Whole.’
Now she’d started talking she wanted to tell him everything – about all her fears and uncertainty and anger – but she knew she couldn’t. He wouldn’t want to hear it. Why should he? They weren’t even friends. She bit her tongue.
He must have sensed her hesitation. ‘Just say it, Josie. Say whatever it is you’ve been holding back. What’s the worst that can happen?’
She took a deep breath. The words wanted to escape from her lips; she could feel them pushing to get out of her mouth.
Say it, Josie.
‘I want to win. I want to bloody win for once, Connor. I’m so sick of being in second place.’ She swiped at a speck of something in the air in frustration.
‘Go on. Give it a shout-out.’
She let out a long, low sigh, pulling together the courage to do it.
