Page 54 of So That Happened
The most frustrating thing was that she was in much better shape to make a relationship work now she’d made some life-changing decisions about how to fix what had gone wrong before. She’d been floundering before she’d met Connor, focusing on the wrong things entirely and missing out on the simple joys of life – like laughing and cooking and playing and having spectacular sex. He’d brought the happiness back into her life for a few tantalising days, then shut the door in her face.
Suddenly the thought of forgetting Connor was too much to deal with, so she got up and distracted herself by playing her piano, hammering away on the keys with her headphones plugged into the keyboard so as not to disturb the neighbours, until all the passion and angst drained out of her.
* * *
The following morning Josie woke up groggy from too little sleep. Her head had spun with thoughts of Connor and what might have been until the early hours, making her twitchy and tense, until she’d finally dropped off into a troubled sleep just as the sun made an appearance through the chink in her curtains.
Dragging herself out of bed, she had a speedy shower and dressed in one of her work suits.
Shrugging on her jacket, she took one last fleeting look in the mirror.
Not good.
Her eyes were puffy, as if she hadn’t slept for a week, and her skin looked sallow beneath her tan.
So this is what unhappiness looks like.
* * *
There was a subdued atmosphere hanging amongst the smattering of colleagues who were already diligently working away at their desks when she arrived at work.
A few people glanced up as she passed them, the expressions on their faces ranging from wary to downright hostile. Jeez, she had a lot of making up to do here.
Abigail was already sitting at her desk, madly typing away on her computer. Josie couldn’t help but marvel at how different she was from her brother. Abi only came up to her chin when standing, making her just over five-foot tall, and her dark hair and eyes were in total contrast to Connor’s blond, blue-eyed appeal. There was a trace of family resemblance around their eyes, though, and as Abigail looked up and smiled at her, Josie felt a pang of horror as she recognised Connor’s grin.
She hadn’t bargained on feeling like this around Abi. She’d been so focused on getting back to work it hadn’t occurred to her how she’d deal with being around Connor’s sister. She would have a daily reminder of him now.
Her discomfort must have shown in her face, because Abigail frowned.
‘God, Josie, you look terrible. I thought a holiday would have done you some good, not made you more tired.’
‘I just didn’t sleep well last night, that’s all.’ She brushed off Abi’s concern, desperate to focus on what needed to be said here and to forget all about the reason for her restless night.
Abi continued to look at her for a moment, before gesturing for her to sit down on the leather sofa in the corner with her. ‘You want some coffee? You look like you could do with some.’
‘No, I’m okay, thanks.’
‘Did you actually manage to get some rest while you were away?’
Judging by Abi’s expression, she clearly thought Josie had been working and angsting about the business the whole time she was in France. Going by her rough appearance that morning, it was a reasonable assessment.
‘I did. After the first couple of days I didn’t do any work at all.’
At least she didn’t have to lie about that. Unfortunately, the memories of what she had done threatened to trounce her composure before she’d had a chance to apologise for her crazy behaviour.
Abi raised her eyebrows but didn’t say anything.
Sitting up straighter, Josie folded her hands in her lap, her heart thumping in her chest. Apologising to Abi was going to be more nerve-wracking than she’d anticipated. Her palms were sweaty as she primed herself to say the words she needed to get out, pushing any qualms out of her mind.
‘I’m so sorry for all the problems I’ve caused recently. I’ve been selfish, expecting everyone to fall in line with what I want and losing my temper when they didn’t. So childish.’ She shook her head and gave Abi a sheepish look.
The relief on Abi’s face provided the first shot of happiness she’d experienced since leaving the farmhouse.
‘I’ve been working too much, and it’s affected my judgment,’ Josie said, leaning forward in her seat, ‘But my head’s on straight now and I’m ready to get back to it without losing my temper – or my mind – again.’
‘That’s great to hear.’
‘And I’m going to apologise to the rest of the staff in a minute. I want them to feel they can approach me with any problems and that I won’t bite off their heads and spit them out.’
