Page 42 of So That Happened
‘I know I’m not that good. It must have been excruciating for you.’
Connor sighed and hooked his thumbs into the pockets of his shorts, his fingers curled hard into fists. ‘Look. I’m sorry I left. I needed some air and I didn’t think you’d mind. You seemed so engrossed.’
She shrugged nonchalantly. ‘I don’t mind.’
But he detected a quiver in her voice.
Guilt slammed into him, bringing anger with it. His pulse beat a fast throb through his veins and his skin prickled with heat. There was nothing he hated more than feeling guilty.
* * *
Josie watched in dismay as Connor’s eyes flared with irritation.
‘What do you want from me? Want me to tell you again how amazingly talented you are?’
‘No… no, of course not. I…’ She was shaken by his coldness. ‘I don’t want anything from you.’
She did, though. She wanted him to be impressed; to tell her she was talented, attractive, smart. It mattered to her what he thought.
A hot flush made its way up her neck. She’d been so overtaken with the joy of playing and losing herself in the music that she’d let her heart rule her head there for a while. She’d imagined that she and Connor were beginning to understand each other, but she’d been wrong. The disappointment weighed heavy.
They were both breathing rapidly from the fast pace she’d set and the side effects of their anger. Josie watched Connor’s chest rise and fall, unable to look him in the eye. She felt like an idiot. Again. Before meeting Connor she’d been the Queen of Cool around men, totally in control of her emotions and on top of every situation, and she’d stupidly thought she could handle him. But she was well out of her depth.
‘Hey.’ He moved in towards her, putting a hand lightly on her arm.
She looked up to see that the anger had drained from his face. A pulse beat in her throat as his gaze locked onto hers.
Josie took a deep breath. ‘I want to go for a walk on the beach.’
She had to get away from his hypnotising gaze. If she didn’t, she’d probably end up making an even bigger fool of herself. She could still feel where his touch had brushed her arm. She ached for him to hold her again; she wanted that connection they’d had last night but had no idea how to get it back.
Connor nodded ‘Look, I’m sorry. I guess I’m on edge.’ He rubbed a hand over his jaw. ‘I’ll come with you. A bit of fresh air would be good for us both right now.’
His mouth smiled, though his eyes didn’t. Was he already regretting this fling? Her stomach writhed in discomfort, a mass of snakes slithering in her belly.
They took the next opening in the wall down onto the sand and strolled in silence for a while, listening to the rush of the waves against the beach. It was busy on the dry sand with sunbathing holidaymakers, so they walked next to the sea, where the ground was damp. Josie slipped off her shoes, finding relief in the coolness against the hot soles of her feet.
‘How long have you been playing?’ Connor asked, breaking the tense silence that had fallen between them.
‘A few years.’
‘Right.’ He nodded. ‘It had real warmth. It took me by surprise,’ he said, not meeting her gaze but instead looking off out to sea. ‘Your playing doesn’t fit with the rest of you. It’s like you let go of what keeps you so on edge.’
Josie stopped and looked at him, an eyebrow raised. ‘That sounded suspiciously like a compliment. Except for the on edge bit.’
The corner of his mouth turned up and he huffed out a laugh. ‘Look, I’m sorry, Josie. I’ve got a lot of stuff on my mind. I wasn’t expecting all this.’ He waved his hands around in the air.
‘All what? This trip? Or the whole finding me naked in your bed thing?’
‘The hot naked thing.’ Throwing her a tight grin, he gestured to a free area of dry sand behind them. ‘Want to sit for a minute?’
This all felt suspiciously as if it was leading up to a brush-off conversation and her skin prickled with nerves. Perhaps she should try nipping this whole thing in the bud first, to save them the awkward conversation he seemed to be building up to. She had to be in control of this thing, or it had the potential to get messy very quickly.
She dropped onto the sand and grabbed a handful, concentrating all her attention on it as it flowed out through her fingers.
Be cool, Josie. Be cool.
‘You know, it’s fine if you don’t want to carry on with this. I understand. You’re heading off soon and you’re a busy man. Let’s just call last night a glitch.’
