No, strike that, since the first moment she set eyes on him at his studio in London.
As she walked towards him, he looked round at her and gave her a tentative smile as if he wasn’t sure how he should act around her today. ‘Good morning,’ he said, his voice low and sweet.
Without saying a word, she put out a shaking hand and pressed it against the rock-hard muscles of his chest and felt his sharp intake of breath. Encouraged that he hadn’t slapped her hand away, she took a step closer to him and forced herself to look up into his face.
He stared down at her with an open, questioning look in his eyes. Summoning all her courage, she pushed up on her tiptoes and leant in towards him, her lips tingling in readiness for the feel of his mouth against hers.
His breath was coming out in shortened gasps and she felt it whisper against her skin for a moment before their lips connected.
A low, almost animal sound came from deep within his chest as she slipped her tongue against the ridge of his teeth. Opening his mouth against her tentative invasion, he flexed his tongue against hers and she tasted the sweetness of him, her body reacting immediately to a desperate need to be enfolded in his arms and held close.
He let her take control as she slid her fingers into his hair and drew him even closer. Leaning into him, she felt the solid ridge of his body press against her from pelvis to chest.
He wanted her, she noted with a breathless sort of glee – she could feel it in the tension of his muscles and, more to the point, in the hard bulge at the front of his trousers.
With shaking hands, she fumbled with his belt, her clumsy fingers making slow work of unbuckling it.
She didn’t allow herself to stop to think about what she was doing. She couldn’t. If she let anything other than her determination to feel him inside her flit through her head, she’d stall and the moment would be lost forever. And that meant never being able to have what she so badly wanted.
To indulge her fantasies for once in her life.
To let go of her anxiety and just take what she wanted.
And she wanted this. So much it hurt.
The buckle finally came apart and she unpopped the button on the front of his trousers and slid her hand inside them, under his underwear, until she found his hard cock. She drew away and looked up into his face.
His eyes were hazy with a need she felt sure must be reflected in her own.
‘Don’t stop,’ he growled, his voice so low she could barely make out the words.
Wrapping her hand around the length of him, she moved her fingers from base to tip, catching the velvety soft head with her thumb and feeling the slickness of his arousal coat her fingertips.
‘Fuck, Jess, that feels so good.’ His fingers wound into her hair, pulling her mouth towards him and kissing her so thoroughly she thought she might die from the pleasure of it.
His hands skimmed beneath the hem of her dress and slid up her thighs, his fingers tugging at the elastic of her knickers so hard she felt it ping and give as the seam ripped and the scrap of material fell to the floor.
‘Oops, sorry,’ Xander said against her mouth, not sounding in the least bit sincere.
She giggled as he kissed across her cheek and gently tickled the sensitive whorl of her ear with his tongue, but soon stopped as she felt his fingers find the slick heat between her legs.
Pressing against his hand, she felt the beginnings of an orgasm stir deep in her pelvis and the need to have the hard length of him inside her grew even more intense. She’d been picturing this situation in her head all night and now the possibility it might actually happen had arisen, she could barely wait. She felt greedy for it.
‘Xander…’
‘Yeah,’ he groaned, as if sensing she was about to cut their encounter short and readying himself to be a gentleman about it.
‘Do you still want me hard and fast against the wall?’ she asked, forcing herself to look him directly in the eye. If this was the last chance she was going to get to test out just how brazen she could push herself to be, she wanted to go all the way.
‘Fuck, yeah,’ he breathed in relief, reaching a hand round to grab his wallet out of the back pocket of his trousers. Releasing his hold on her, he located a condom before dropping the wallet onto the floor next to them.
He didn’t move his gaze away from hers as he waited for her to step back so he could strip off his clothes.
She’d never seen anyone get undressed so fast.
He stood there naked in front of her, the heat of his body radiating outwards, warming her skin with its fiery intensity. Taking a deep breath, she allowed her gaze to travel down the magnificence of him, taking in every beautiful dip and curve.
Her gaze returned to his and locked for a moment as he checked with her silently that she really wanted this.