Page 36 of Here Comes Trouble
She groaned low in her throat as he held her against the wall and pushed his body into her, increasing the delicious friction between them.
‘I want you like this, Jess, just like this, fast and hard against the wall,’ he murmured against her mouth, his fingers slipping into her hair, holding her captive. ‘Then afterwards, slow and long… sliding into you over and over again. And I want to hear you say my name when you come.’
She nearly stopped breathing as the sound of those words washed over her, drenching her to her quivering bones. She couldn’t let him expect that to happen.
She suddenly wanted to cry.
Her whole body tensed as anxiety flooded through her and she turned her face away from him so he couldn’t see the tears welling in her eyes.
* * *
Something was wrong.
Jess’s whole body had gone rigid, and she wouldn’t look at him.
‘Hey, what is it?’ Xander asked, suddenly terrified he’d pushed this too far too quickly.
‘I… don’t want to disappoint you,’ she said so quietly he almost missed it.
He stared at her, baffled. ‘You won’t.’
‘I might,’ she said, almost defiantly.
He manoeuvred her over to the bed, guiding her down gently to sit on it and kneeling in front of her, between her thighs.
Their eyes were on a level, and she gazed into his, a frown pinching her brow.
‘Are you scared?’
The question seemed to shock her. Scrambling backwards onto the bed, she curled her arms around her drawn up legs, staring at him, frowning even harder. ‘No. I’m not scared ofyou.’
‘Then what is it?’
She screwed up her eyes, as if she had to pretend he wasn’t there in order to get the words out. ‘I don’t find it easy to orgasm. I’m too self-aware.’ Her cheeks flushed with mortification. ‘I’m scared I’ll disappoint you because I’m crap in bed.’
When she opened her eyes, all he could do was stare at her in disbelief. ‘Why on earth would you think that?’
She looked up at him, barely able to meet his gaze. ‘The last guy I had a relationship with told me I was a crap lay. But I’ve always been unsure of myself where sex is concerned,’ she rushed on. ‘I don’t exactly have a lot of experience.’ She looked away from him again, her face pale now.
He stared at her in silence for a moment, feeling inexplicably angry. ‘What a fucking arsehole.’ No wonder she was so afraid of letting him get physical with her. Who said things like that to someone they were meant to care about? Even though he’d never allowed himself to get emotionally close to any of the women he’d slept with, he’d never dream of being so callous and cruel to them. The guy clearly hadn’t bothered to get to know Jess very well if he couldn’t see how saying something like that would destroy her fragile confidence.
‘I guess my inability to enjoy sex with him must have fed into his deepest insecurities about not being “man” enough or something,’ she said, looking at him now with shame in her eyes.
‘Yeah, well, clearly he wasn’t skilled enough to make it good for you.’
She gave him a tentative smile back and something tightened in his chest.
‘Yeah. Maybe.’
‘Jess, listen, I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t want to walk away now, leaving you believing you’ll never enjoy or be good at sex. Give me the opportunity to change your mind.’
He wanted to give her this – a chance to step out from behind that cloud of doubt that followed her around and to feel the sunshine on her face for once. He knew his strengths and weaknesses, and while he couldn’t offer her a hearts-and-flowers relationship, he was more than qualified to show her a good time in the sack.
‘You like a challenge, don’t you?’ she said, the corner of her mouth twitching.
He climbed onto the bed next to her and put a hand up to her face, stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers.
‘Trust me, Jess, you won’t regret it.’
