Page 20 of Here Comes Trouble
She’d been surprised at his offer too, considering how resistant he’d been to giving her anything personal of himself the previous night. Perhaps she’d looked so pathetic when he’d found her there, he’d had a crisis of conscience?
Anyway, whatever his reasons, logically it would be a whole lot easier to stay in the same place as Xander as it meant she could get a really good feel for how he spent his days, and nights, while he worked on his paintings.
She took a hot, reviving shower in the beautiful, mosaic-tiled en suite bathroom then dressed in her most comfortable clothes: a pair of indigo boyfriend-cut jeans, a loose, long sleeved, white cotton T-shirt and a pair of flip flops.
Taking one last, deep breath, she went back out to the garden to find Xander, ready for the session.
Blood thundered through her veins at the thought of him scrutinising her from every angle and flashbacks from being bullied about her weight when she was younger flittered through her mind, but she refused to feel cowed by those awful memories. It had been a long time since she’d let her eating disorder get its teeth into her, and she’d come so far since then. She refused to let it drag her under again.
Xander was sitting on the terrace with his sketchpad and pencils, making large swirling motions over the paper. He tilted his head and smiled, eyebrows raised as she drew closer to him and she wrapped her arms around her middle and gave him her bravest smile back. She had no idea what he must be thinking and blood pounded in her head as her agitation increased.
Suck it up, Jess. You’re doing this to save your career, remember?
If she could get through this modelling debacle, hopefully she’d have more opportunities to pump Xander for information.
The thought of ‘pumping’ in relation to Xander almost made her lose her cool for a second and she had to suck in a deep breath to steady herself. The low throb of arousal refused to budge from where it had nestled itself between the apex of her thighs, and she had to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other to stop herself from swivelling on the spot and making a run for it.
She found him still sitting on the terrace and took the chair opposite him, with the lake behind her, the sun hot on her already heated skin. Her muscles were so twitchy she wouldn’t be at all surprised to find she was visibly vibrating with tension.
Xander looked up and studied her for a moment, sketchpad on his knee, his bright eyes searching her face.
She wound her fingers together and placed them carefully on her lap, looking away over his shoulder in an attempt to distract herself from the discomfort of being studied so thoroughly by a man who made her insides writhe like they were filled with snakes.
‘Relax, Jess. Anyone would think I was about to torture you.’
‘I have no idea why you’d want to draw me,’ she said, attempting to relax her shoulders into some sort of normal posture.
Xander laughed. ‘You’re much more attractive than you think you are, you know.’
She shot him a puzzled scowl. ‘How the hell do you know how attractive – or not – I think I am?’
He didn’t seem at all fazed by her snippy tone. ‘I can see it in your body language. You don’t believe in yourself.’ He leant in closer. ‘You know, you shouldn’t worry so much about what anybody else thinks; just believe in how amazing you are.’
‘That would be a lot easier if I was amazing.’ She flipped him a grin, but he frowned, clearly unimpressed with her response.
‘How can you not know how gorgeous you are?’ he murmured.
The penetrating look he gave her made the throb reawaken deep in her pelvis.
‘You need to release the joy.’ He didn’t shift his gaze from her face, keeping her attention locked to him.
She laughed in bewilderment. ‘The joy?’
‘You know. The place where a genuine smile comes from.’
She looked at him blankly. ‘How do I find such a place?’
‘Think about the last time you felt happy.’
She gave him a sceptical look.
‘Humour me,’ he said.
Sighing, she wiped her sweaty palms on the sides of her jeans. She didn’t want him to see how nervous she was about being the centre of attention like this.
Sensing she was likely to lose this particular battle, and interested to see if the experiment worked, she sighed and shut her eyes, doing as he said, trying to capture the feeling of delight she’d experienced when Pamela had offered her the job on the magazine. She tried to pinpoint where the feeling emanated from, locating it somewhere deep in her chest where it pulsed low and warm.
‘Okay,’ Xander said, ‘Now look at me and let your eyes tell me how you’re feeling.’
